The WISDOM Podcast with Dorothy Zennuriye Juno
ASTEYA ~ Non-Stealing | The Yamas Series: 3/5 | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E43

ASTEYA ~ Non-Stealing | The Yamas Series: 3/5 | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E43

May 8, 2022

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ASTEYA ~ Non-stealing ~ 

The Yamas Series: 3 of 5

The WISDOM podcast  Season 3  Episode 43

 

If you have everything and if you have the ability to have everything, you will never be in need.  ~

💜

 

Welcome to this episode and the third of a five-part series on the yamas. Yamas are the first limb of yoga in the Ashtanga yoga system.

 

The literal translation of the word Yama in Sanskrit is “restraint”. Religious texts of Hinduism and Jainism outline five yamas.

 

In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, asteya is described as the emptiness that is caused by a deep loss, unfulfilled desire, and the resulting lack or insecurity, jealousy or resentment that we focus on rather than looking inward ~ which always guides us to what we can and still need to do to support our well being; and to feel fulfilled, content, peaceful, and joyful.

 

According to the teachings in the Yoga Sutra (2.37), when we perfect the principle of asteya, riches comes to us. Although material wealth may unexpectedly appear when we need it, true spiritual wealth comes when we’re complete and whole within ourselves.

 

We don’t need to envy or take from others – whether in their time, their energy, or to seek attention and approval in order to feel good about ourselves.

 

We can rest in the unconditional love and wisdom that resides within us and experience the wholeness of our true self.

 

From this sense of inner fulfillment, we naturally want to give to others rather than to take from them.

 

Sending you great 💜 love...

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, connect with me here:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram  Facebook

 

 

More WISDOM and Non-violence:

 

* My Sacred Life: An 'I AM' Meditation  [A Meditation to support your Asteya practice]

 

* APARIGRAHA ~ Non-Attachment  [Podcast S3 E47]  * The Yamas Series: 5/5

* BRAHMACHARYA ~ Non-Excess  [Podcast S3 E45]  * The Yamas Series: 4/5

* ASTEYA ~ Non-Stealing  [Podcast S3 E43]  * The Yamas Series: 3/5

* SATYA ~ Truthfulness  [Podcast S3 E41]  * The Yamas Series: 2/5

* AHIMSA ~ Nonviolence  [Podcast S3 E39]  * The Yamas Series: 1/5

 

* The Violence We Cause Others 'ask dorothy'  [Podcast Episode S3 E40]

* Yoga International [Article by Irene Petryszak ]

* The Yamas & Niyamas  [Book by Deborah Adele]

* How Do I Become Whole?  [Podcast Episode S2 E56]

* Forgiveness IS F R E E D O M  [Podcast Episode S3 E35]

* Self-Love is 'Being Love'  [Podcast Episode S3 E29]

* Live Your Greatness [Podcast Episode Season 1 Episode 1]

* The Ultimate Self-Love WISDOM toolkit

* Self-Love: A Meditation to Heal Your Life  [The Wisdom Archives]

* Work with Me [Life Coaching & Therapy]

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is Your Path of Joy? | ’ask dorothy’ | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E36

What is Your Path of Joy? | ’ask dorothy’ | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E36

April 12, 2022

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'ask dorothy'

What is Your Path of Joy? | A Real Life Client Story

The WISDOM podcast  Season 3  Episode 36

The beauty of joy is that it acts as a road map for the expression of happiness and the inner fulfillment that honours your heart in light of your moment by moment choices. -

💜

 

Timestamps:

Podcast Theme Intro:  0-1:32 |  An Intro to this Episode and A Memory of 'Joy' of My Life:   | What is Your Path of Joy? Question For Your Contemplation:  2:53 | My Client Sarah*:  5:04 | Sarah's Path of Joy:  6:42 | How Joy is Experienced:  9:10 |  How Sarah Would Reclaim Her Path of Joy: 9:55 |  The One Protocol That Will Always Illuminates Your Path of Joy:  11:32 |  Podcast Theme Outro:  13:43

 

What is your path of joy? How is joy your inspiration; leading you on your journey through life? Where in your physical being do you feel joy? How does joy reveal itself to you?

 

anatomyofanepisode-400x43.png

For my client Sarah, joy became a desired longing and a precious gift the longer that she remained out of joy.

In our session, Sarah reminded herself of her path of joy – of how it felt as the energy of lightness and ease and of the happiness.

 

Joy is experienced in the simple and deliberate expressions of gratitude and abundance. Joy is always with you. It is easily accessible as you acknowledge its existence and as you hold a place in your heart for its infinite love in the present moment ~ and in your pure witnessing of it.

 

The beauty of joy is that it acts as a road map for the expression of happiness and the inner fulfillment that honours your heart in light of your moment by moment choices.

 

Sarah would need to be wholly honest with herself to reclaim her path of joy. You need to do the same. We all do. Joy is easily accessible. It is the acknowledgement of all that you are in appreciation of, and the kindness you hold in your thoughts and words for yourself and others.

 

Joy lived in Sarah’s expression of honesty and acknowledgement of what she needed to be happy.

 

Could you live in your expression of self-honesty? Could you follow what is truly your right path, moment by moment?

 

*My client’s name has been changed to maintain confidentiality.

 

Each Tuesday at 8pm EST, I take you on a journey - inside - what happens in a session of Life Coaching and Therapy in the 'ask dorothy' series as we answer the questions that honour your path and your life.

 

 

If you would like my help to find your path back to joy and authentic happiness, please reach out to me.

 

 

Sending you great 💜 love...

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram  Facebook

 

 

More  J  O Y  and  w i s d o m:

 

* The Experience of Joy: A Guided Meditation  [The Wisdom Archives]

* The Power of Self-Honesty. How Honest Are You Willing To Be?  [Podcast Episode S3 E13]

*  Peace Unto Me: A Meditation  [The Wisdom Archives]

*  The Intention You Bring to All You Do Is How You Live in Happiness  [Podcast Episode S2 E61]

*  How to Live As Love  [YouTube Video]

*  The Kindness Challenge [Read The WISDOM BLOG post here]

*  Live Your Greatness [Podcast Episode Season 1]

*  This Is A Self-Love Movement  [YouTube Video]

*  The Ultimate Self-Love WISDOM toolkit

*  Self-Love: A Meditation to Heal Your Life  [The Wisdom Archives]

*  Do You Let Love In? How to Feel Deserving of Love  [Podcast Episode]

*  Work with Me [Life Coaching & Therapy]

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness is  F R E E D O M  | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E35

Forgiveness is F R E E D O M | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E35

April 10, 2022

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Forgiveness is F R E E D O M

The WISDOM podcast  Season 3  Episode 35

 

-  Forgiveness is for giving yourself healing and love.  -

  💜

Timestamps:

A Place for Forgiveness:  0-1:07 |  Podcast Theme Intro:  1:08 |  An Intro to this Episode :  2:35 | Forgiveness as a Solution:  3:44 | Change is Always a Conscious Choice:  5:25 | The Formula for Freedom:  5:51 | How to Break the Cycle:  7:20 |  Out of Your Choice to Forgive Emerges Freedom: 10:08 |  Words to Release Hurt and Suffering:  11:22 |  Peace:  14:27 |  Forgiveness For Your Own Past Actions:  15:59 |  The Greatest Power In Healing:  19:47 |  The Universal Law of Cause and Effect: 21:09 |  The Spiritual Benefits of Forgiveness:  22:08 | If there is someone that you need to forgive...  24:10 |  Forgiveness is Your Willingness to Step Forward:  26:25 |  Podcast Theme Outro:  27:23

 

There can be a place for forgiveness in your heart for the unkind and hurtful actions given by another; for any damaging and abusive behaviour together with the harmful messages that have caused you to hold doubt and a lack of confidence in yourself and of your abilities ~ and for what has evoked within you ~ to question what you know is true and best for your life.

 

I want you to know that you can find a place for forgiveness in your heart and throughout your being - that leads you out of the sadness and suffering you have felt and into freedom: freedom that releases the hurts of the past, freedom that liberates you into the moments of now ~ and no longer mired in thoughts that ruminate on the extent of the damage that has been caused to you.

 

"You break the cycle when you liberate yourself from needing to make another person see the truth of their actions and to change, you free yourself to heal, to refocus on your life, and you are able to release your suffering.

You are not responsible for fixing another person nor a relationship.

You cannot change the past.

You must simply make a decision as to what kind of relationship this is realistically able to be based on all that you have been observing ~ of the other person, and yourself."

 

You may be wondering how forgiveness is a solution; how will it change any of the replete demonstrations of someone’s unkindness, dishonesty, and disrespect ~ or worse - the inconceivable acts of rage and violence from one human being to another.

 

Something that I want you to keep in mind as we go through this episode is the fact that people who are hurting, hurt others.

 

As humans, we repeat the cycle of dishonour, disrespect, aggression, and abuse in its many forms as learned behaviours and for as long as we remain unaware of and/or if we refuse to look at these actions with honesty and reverence.

 

 

 

If you would like my help in your journey of forgiveness and healing, please reach out to me.  namaste! 🙏

 

Sending you great 💜 love...

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, connect with me here:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram  Facebook

 

 

More Forgiveness and Healing:

* The Voice of Trauma  [Podcast Episode]

* The Cycle of Abuse Stops With You  [Podcast Episode]

* Spiritual Forgiveness *this was a great reference for me for this episode ~ read more here*

* Emotional Intelligence and Trauma  [Podcast Episode]

* Forgiveness IS F R E E D O M  [Podcast Episode]

* Live Your Greatness [Podcast Episode Season 1]

* The Ultimate Self-Love WISDOM toolkit

* Self-Love: A Meditation to Heal Your Life  [The Wisdom Archives]

* Work with Me [Life Coaching & Therapy]

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

 

 

 

 

 

Your ’Love Longevity List.’ The Three Secrets for Longevity in Your Love Relationship. | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E21

Your ’Love Longevity List.’ The Three Secrets for Longevity in Your Love Relationship. | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E21

February 13, 2022

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Your ’Love Longevity List.’  The Three Secrets for Longevity in Your Love Relationship.

The WISDOM podcast  Season 3  Episode 21

 

 

~The longevity of your love relationship depends on this. ~

 

In the world of dating, it’s natural to want to show up when you meet someone for the first time; to show them your best self.

 

It’s a deeply ingrained part of our human condition. The desire for validation and approval are among the strongest motivating forces. Feeling approved of and loved contributes to feeling confident and worthy.

Naturally we look to our love relationship as a main source of validation and worth. It’s one place but certainly not the only.

 

My hope is that you will realize the importance of developing the relationship with hold with yourself first - and to continue to dedicate energy and attention to the one person that needs to love you the most.

 

In this episode I share what you can do to exist as authentic and true - first to yourself; and to enlist each of these three longevity secrets to ensure happiness, great love, and the confidence in knowing that you have chosen well in a partner.  

 

Join me here to shift your perspective in how you look for a partner and love.

 

Sending you great 💜 love...

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram  Facebook

 

 

More great l o v e:

* How to Live As Love  [YouTube Video]

* This is Authentic Happiness [The WISDOM BLOG  An  a u d i o  original]

* Live Your Greatness [Podcast Episode Season 1]

* This Is A Self-Love Movement  [YouTube Video]

* The Ultimate Self-Love WISDOM toolkit

* Self-Love: A Meditation to Heal Your Life  [The Wisdom Archives]

* The 10 Sacred Habits of Meditation  [Audio Course]

* The Sacred Practice of Meditation  ['live' Workshop]

* Work with Me [Life Coaching & Therapy]

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Snow Globe Effect: Transformation and Change | ‘ask dorothy‘ | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast  | S3 E

The Snow Globe Effect: Transformation and Change | ‘ask dorothy‘ | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast | S3 E

December 28, 2021

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'ask dorothy'

The Snow Globe Effect: Transformation and Change | A Real Life Client Story

The WISDOM podcast  Season 3  Episode 9

- A special episode for anyone who has faced the ending of a love relationship -

If you are listening because you have recently gone through a life change that was or was not decided by you; it can easily be overwhelming. It can cause you to question your life and what choices you have made and whether you need to rethink everything.

 

Change is being imposed upon us all of the time.  Our lives become more abundant through the change sought through desire, growth, opportunity, new thoughts, and actions.  Some change when we label it as: bad, unjust, wrong, only makes it more difficult to accept and navigate as a life experience that is causing us to break open; to think and feel and live beyond what we have - until now.

Therein is the snow globe effect - our world as we know it – shaken upside down for a time; not forever.  Then as we watch in anticipation and wonder, we see the snow fall; filling all of the space inside the snow globe, delighting us in the magic of what we are witness to; creating a beautiful scene with nothing more than the simple action of movement; of changing the form of what already is -to reveal so much beauty.

 

In this episode I share the story of my clients Harold and Delia; and how heartfelt desire and self-honesty is necessary for the change that becomes our personal transformation.  Join me!

 

 

Each Tuesday at 8pm EST, I take you on a journey - inside - what happens in a session of Life Coaching and Therapy in the 'ask dorothy' series as we answer the questions that honour your path and your life.

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me: dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here:  

 

Sending you great 💜 love...

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram  Facebook

 

 

More Personal Transformation and Love right here:

*  The Kindness Challenge [Read The WISDOM BLOG post here]

*  Live Your Greatness [Podcast Episode Season 1]

*  This Is A Self-Love Movement  [YouTube Video]

* The Ultimate Self-Love WISDOM toolkit

* Self-Love: A Meditation to Heal Your Life  [The Wisdom Archives]

* Do You Let Love In? How to Feel Deserving of Love  [Podcast Episode]

* Work with Me [Life Coaching & Therapy]

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

 

 

How Long Have You Waited For Love?  | ‘ask dorothy’  |  A Real Life Client Story  | The WISDOM podcast  S2 E77

How Long Have You Waited For Love? | ‘ask dorothy’ | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast S2 E77

June 1, 2021

'ask dorothy'

How Long Have You Waited For Love?| A Real Life Client Story

The WISDOM podcast  Season 2 Episode 77

 

For so many clients it is in that very first session that we chart a course for the journey deep within; a journey that is often overdue; a journey that will help free them from what hurts and trauma has caused them to doubt in their abilities to feel whole and of peace; a journey into healing, love, acceptance, and approval for whatever was not given freely and without conditions; and of which they (sometimes unknowingly), are now ready to give unto themselves.

 

How Long Have You Waited For Love?

 

We are beginning to understand that love must be willingly given to our self; that we cannot thrive in the absence of it; and we do not need to wait for someone to love us; to feel loved.

Love as a feeling and a state of being that is experienced out of living in self-love.

Each one of us is equipped to love; to give love ceaselessly. We are all hard wired for this; to love our self and to love others, and to do this as the love of one human being to another. It may be that we need to practice self-love; to first learn it and to be reminded of the ways that we already do this.

The experience of love directed inward is how we reclaim our power and our wholeness. To direct love inward through words and actions of loving-kindness, is how we walk the planet in perfect oneness; feeling attuned with our ability to feel loved.

The names here have been changed to maintain confidentiality. My client’s story is real.

Sending you great 💜love...

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram

 

More Resources and Love:

This Is A Self-Love Movement  [YouTube Video]

* The Ultimate Self-Love WISDOM toolkit

* Self-Love: A Meditation to Heal Your Life  [The Wisdom Archives]

* Do You Let Love In? How to Feel Deserving of Love  [Podcast Episode]

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

Accompanying Music: Eternell - Autumn Sky - 'Elevation' + Purl - Stillpoint - 'Melora'

 

 

 

How PTSD Happens  | ‘ask dorothy’ | A Real Life Client Story  | The WISDOM podcast  S2 E71

How PTSD Happens | ‘ask dorothy’ | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast S2 E71

May 11, 2021

'ask dorothy'

How PTSD Happens| A Real Life Client Story

The WISDOM podcast  Season 2 Episode 71

 

Here I share the story of a client: of whom I continue to work with at the time of writing this. Her name has been changed to protect her identity; her story is real.

 

Carol – a 26yr old female living and working in North America never knew that the physical, verbal and emotional abuse she sustained in a 3-yr relationship with a boy she met whilst still living in her homeland of China would be the reason for why she has been suffering with PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

 

Let me define first what this is because if you are listening; if you or someone you know has experienced exposure to trauma you – or they – may also be experiencing the ongoing symptoms of this mental health condition that often goes undiagnosed; the focus may instead be on one or some of its symptoms without truly understanding the magnitude of the impact of this disorder beyond the abuse itself.

 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition in which people experience a variety of symptoms following exposure to a traumatic event. These may include flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, avoidance, and changes in mood and thinking. Symptoms may include re-experiencing the traumatic event, avoiding reminders of the trauma, startling easily, and having negative thoughts and beliefs.

 

Not every abusive relationship will traumatize someone to the point where they are exhibiting symptoms of PTSD, but it is possible. If you or someone you know has experienced prolonged abuse of any form; whether a witness to this or directly, and perpetrated by someone that was supposed to love and respect you, it is worthwhile to complete a screening tool or checklist for PTSD.

 

I invite you to use the link that I will place in the description for both an online post-traumatic stress disorder screening tool and a self-assessment tool that can help make sense of why you may be feeling the way you do. I will also leave resources for treatment so that you can begin to help yourself.

 

Resources

* Depression in COVID-19 Times: 'Take the Test' + The 12 Best Natural Solutions to Heal Yourself  [Podcast Episode] 

* A Time of Rebirth And Awakening: of Love, of Humanity, and the Earth  [Podcast Episode]

* Online Screening Tool for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

* Assessment Tool for PTSD (online)

* The School of WISDOM [Online Courses, Workshops, Trainings]

* The Wisdom Archives [Meditation Library]

 

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here  

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here

Visit me on social media💜 :  Twitter   Instagram

 

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternellwww.eternell.net/album/illuvia

Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Kindness of a Cloud'

 

 

What Therapy Can Do For You  |  The WISDOM podcast  |  S2 E44

What Therapy Can Do For You | The WISDOM podcast | S2 E44

February 7, 2021

 

What Therapy Can Do For You.

The WISDOM podcast  Season 2  Episode 44

with Dorothy Ratusny

 

TIMESTAMPS:

Podcast Theme Intro:  0-2:02  |  My Introduction and What Therapy Can Do For You: 💜 2:03  |  My Client's Diagnosis of Bipolar:  3:30 |  Therapy is Far More Than Talking About the Past:  4:40 |  The Two Positive Outcomes of Therapy That We Will Always Arrive at Together:  5:13  |  Even After Healing Has Been Complete...  6:39  |  Think of Therapy As a Healing Paradigm:  9:04  |  Therapy Teaches You About Yourself:  11:05  |  The Tools and Best Practices of Therapy:  18:17  |  Three Reflective Questions PDF:  28:06  |  Good Therapy Is...  23:22  |  My Client: An Afterward:  28:56  |  Podcast Theme Outro:  33:00  |

 

anatomy of an episode: here's what you will find in this episode of the wisdom podcast

- If you have ever wondered what a session of therapy could do, this episode is for you. -

How does one identify, effectively all of the ways that therapy can be of help? How do we do this without embracing the experience itself when the idea of talking with someone can be overwhelming for some who don’t know where to begin, or how it can truly help?

 

TRUTH SERUM:  In the past, the stigma associated with mental health has been a deterrent to seeking therapy.

What we are witnessing now, in this turbulent time of ongoing change and uncertainty, and with millions of people all over the world, experiencing more alone time and isolation than in any other time during their life, the effects of prolonged stress and the lack of support of mental health strategies and skills needed to live a healthy and productive and happy life; make it important to have the best therapeutic practices that are accessible by all people and in all languages and as much as possible - affordable and or free.

 

REAL CLIENT STORIES:  When my client (who was), diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18, some 20 years later; is in a spell of low affect; when her cognitive ability is challenged; simple processing tasks are impeded.

It is more difficult for her to make decisions for example, and to feel motivated to complete daily tasks.

Her usual upbeat and larger than life personality becomes submersed in what is now a quiet and somber, depressed version of herself; one that lacks confidence, and is often tormented by thoughts of ‘being a burden’ to her loved ones.

Her words to me in these moments as well as when she is feeling ‘like herself’ and happy again, are substantial to us all. She reaffirms the simple truth: ‘Your mental health means everything’. She is right.

 

A-HA MOMENTS:  Therapy is far more than talking about a traumatic childhood event and reliving its scaring impact. 

In fact, the way that it helps best to deconstruct a past event or trauma is to examine it from an enlightened perspective; to understand the situation and the context in a way that allows for healing, forgiveness, acceptance, peace – and the idea that whatever happened, and for whatever was done “to you”, there are always going to be two positive outcomes that we will arrive at together.

(1) The first is a more accurate comprehension and understanding of the situation and the new insights and discoveries that arise out of a search for greater meaning and from that, the ability to come to acceptance. Acceptance does not mean agreement with what has happened, but rather the willingness to acknowledge what has already occurred.

This allows you to psychologically move into a place of action; of rendering what will be the action that you need to take whether as an approach to how you think or what physical actions will help support you best.

(2) Second, healing occurs when you hold acceptance of ‘what is’; emotional, psychological, cognitive, spiritual, and often physical in the relief of symptoms that were once related to the situation of the past and your perspective of it. This healing is the return to your wholeness that you; that we all - are inherently seeking.

 

PRACTICAL WISDOM: Even after the majority of healing has been completed, therapy can continue to be a place where one experiences growth in other areas of one’s life; and hence the ripple effect of what it means to learn and discover more (about one’s self, including the different choices one may choose with greater understanding and perspective).

As a side note, it’s not about making excuses for someone’s behavior, or disavowing your feelings and how you have been impacted by a situation or another.

Rather, examining the past from the vantage point of a different perspective that I or another therapist can help with, brings new insight and awareness that allows for healing and to alleviate some or all of the pain and suffering that one may have been holding onto.

Read the rest of this entry »

Compassion IS LOVE + A Guided Meditation  | The WISDOM podcast  |  S2 E16

Compassion IS LOVE + A Guided Meditation | The WISDOM podcast | S2 E16

August 9, 2020

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Compassion IS LOVE

The WISDOM podcast  Season 2 Episode 16

 

TIMESTAMPS:

Podcast Intro:  0-2:08  |  An Introduction to this Episode: Part Three in a Series of Six of Beautiful Guided Meditations: 2:14 |  An Introduction to Compassion: 3:13  | Kindness and Love is so Powerful:  4:09  |  When You Offer Yourself Compassion...  4:28  |  There are Many Reasons to Practice Compassion: 5:23  |  A Prose Meditation on Compassion  9:56  | Podcast Outro: 35:56 

 

 

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In this part three of a six-part series of beautiful guided meditations, I invite you to open your heart and your mind; to witness yourself and the world in ways that remind you of how kind and peaceful your presence can be; how soothing and comforting your actions are for yourself and others, when you choose to walk in your life with greater presence of what it means to hold compassion; to be compassionate towards yourself and all others, for this is how you are 'love in action'.

 

Special for this series, I have written a new meditation on the practice of compassion; and of how you may instinctively be of compassion to yourself and others.

 

There is no greater offering when someone is less fortunate or suffering than to be compassionate; to feel for them and their situation because this is how you offer care and kindness.

 

Compassion is love.  It is in being compassionate that others are able to feel your genuine concern for their well being; and to hold even for a few moments, the space and the opportunity for them to know that they are  not alone.

 

Your kindness and love is so powerful.  It is this sacred action of compassion that allows others to rise up, to be heard, to heal, to take the right action for themselves. 

 

When you offer yourself compassion, you breathe in giving yourself patience to recognize where you are in your life; and you choose to offer unto yourself this gift of kind reverence; of patience and comfort, of understanding, of reassurance that you are not alone; that you will feel better; that kindness directed within is how you help move yourself into a state of peace, responsibility to what is needed and comfort in the knowing of your presence.

 

love dorothy

 

 

 

*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me.  You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com.

 

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More Love, More Compassion...

*Check out this audio on Self-Compassion in THE WISDOM BLOG: Self-Compassion IS Self-Love

 

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!  platosound.com

 Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

Accompanying Music: Illuvia - Past Lives & Inner Worlds - Drupad

 

 

The Power of Honesty in Your Love Relationship: One Couple’s True Story  |  The WISDOM podcast | Season 1 Episode 5

The Power of Honesty in Your Love Relationship: One Couple’s True Story | The WISDOM podcast | Season 1 Episode 5

October 27, 2019

"The Power of Honesty in Your Love Relationship: One Couple's True Story" with Dorothy Ratusny

the Wisdom Podcast  Season 1  Episode 5

TIMESTAMPS:

Podcast Intro:  0-1:32  |  Introducing the Story of Michael and Tara:  1:37 |  How Therapy Helps to Heal the Past and Present:  7:46  |  Your Awakening Moment:  9:17  |  How We Teach Others How to Treat Us:  10:20  |  The Rest of 'Their Story' - Michael and Tara:  11:26  |  What Honesty Gives You:  13:42   |  Advice for Offering Feedback to a Loved One:  14:22

In this episode we discover how Michael and Tara were able to acknowledge how what they were living was inauthentic, and how facing their personal inner truth would set them free to find new love; and to choose this based on what was right and best for each of them.

 

My client Michael* diverted his eyes, gazing down, visibly recoiling into himself; as if he was trying to make himself invisible.  He was unable to make eye contact for several moments.  Tears came to his eyes and he could not keep up with wiping them as more tears, ran down his cheeks.

It can be difficult for us to admit our mistakes, our vulnerabilities - and ultimately what we do that hurts those we love.  Perhaps for some this is a learned behaviour; a subconscious but real fear that originated in childhood, where admitting fault would lend itself to being scolded, perhaps humiliated, and punished.  If we are not self aware, then yes, we may not realize how our actions and words affect and hurt another.  Or perhaps, as Michael revealed of his own behaviour, we often do realize when we have potentially said or done something that is hurtful, but avoid acknowledging and admitting this in the idealized hope that we are mistaken, or that we can avoid what would cause us to feel badly about our self.

Why do we have a difficult time acknowledging when we have done something that is not a true portrayal of the goodness that we are indeed capable of?

To acknowledge your mistakes is to have the immediate opportunity to 'right' them.

Michael had sought my help to save his marriage.  It was weeks earlier that his wife Tara* had said that she wanted to separate.  Michael was devastated.  He was now desperate to do whatever he could to repair this relationship.  Only later would I discover that perhaps Michael, wasn't at all surprised by Tara's decision.

It was difficult at first for Michael to admit outwardly the words and actions that had hurt his wife so deeply over the cumulative two decades that they had been 'in relationship'.  It wasn't until Tara attended a session of therapy on her own with myself, that she was able to explain how she came to make the difficult decision to end the marriage; how she tried to rekindle the feelings of love, that she once felt for Michael despite his cutting sarcasm, his finger pointing and blame, his disrespectful words and a lack of loving actions that had been the catalyst for how her feelings changed towards her husband.  Holding in the hurt and the many 'let downs' that Tara continued to experience in the marriage, meant an inevitable sadness and despair that grew into intolerance, disinterest, and dislike.

Upon leaving her first therapy session with me, Tara went to speak with Michael.  She later described how empowering it was to have 'found her voice' and the courage to speak her truth.  Tara shared with Michael many examples of how he had been hurtful over the years, and explained why she had stopped talking about her feelings and what bothered her.  Tara learned to hold back from expressing her sadness and hurt since (as she explained), it was repeatedly reciprocated with Michael's denial and hostility.

 

"We can be in a love relationship and yet this doesn't mean that we are skilled at it.  A relationship requires ongoing attention, effort, and the willingness to give of yourself in honesty and loving kindness.  A love relationship will also inspire personal growth and the desire to become a better version of yourself.  This is a calling that you must attend to."  - dorothy ratusny

It was largely Tara's words spoken with complete openness and honesty that Michael came to realize that he allowed his ego to get in the way of being honest, kind, and vulnerable with the one person that had loved him unconditionally.  Back in my office after that pivotal meeting with his wife, Michael admitted with remorse that he was finally ready to acknowledge the pattern of behaviour that reflected a lack of kindness, respect and love.  As much as he had glimpses of the disrespectful and abusive way in which he conducted himself, Michael would still attempt to dismiss his behaviour, justifying his actions and unwilling to see himself as he was; with honesty and clarity.

My client's life was an example of how we treat others based on the way in which we are with our self, the end result of what we have been taught in our family of origin and our inability or unwillingness to be self-honest and to seek to make personal changes.

As an adult, we can no longer blame our childhood or any earlier life experience as an excuse for how we treat others.  The work of therapy is to heal the past including how we were taught to think of and treat our self and others.  As we choose to adopt healthy and respectful ways of being and to treat others with kindness and consideration, we build self-worth and reclaim a feeling of wholeness; and pride in our ability to be loving kindness.  As we practice kindness directed inward; as we find the good in our self to dwell upon and feel positive about, it becomes easier to be this with others; and to treat others perhaps not the way that we were treated, but the way in which we should have been treated. 

I help clients to fix or change a problematic situation; often this is the result of how they are not able (or at times willing) to act with compassion and love; and ultimately to correct the behaviours that cause much suffering unto themselves.  This change begins with awareness of the impact of one's words and actions onto their self, and others.  When you awaken, you see your self with honesty and accuracy.  Awakening highlights what thoughts or actions have contributed to your suffering.  Being self-aware allows you to choose how you will be different; and what is needed in order to have better relationships, to improve your current life circumstances, and ultimately how you think and feel towards your self, others, and the world.

 

"In therapy, together we conduct what becomes a personal discovery in order to achieve awareness; to shed light on a situation and your self, and to see everything with a clear and accurate perspective, so that you can begin to draw insights into how you are living your life that reveals just how you are causing your own suffering (and often, the suffering of others)."  - dorothy ratusny

 

We teach others how to treat us by how we respond to their words and actions.  If you want to build a solid relationship of open, honest communication then you must also be willing to listen to the other person tell you when you have done something that has hurt them; even when you do not "intend" to hurt someone or think that your actions were "wrong".  By taking account of what someone is telling you, and being willing to look at your self, you learn so much.  You begin to see your self with different eyes.  You become attentive to the actions and words that were once an automatic response.  This is another important way that you learn about your self; through the eyes of loved ones who you can trust to be truthful and willing to speak openly with you, but only as you take heed of their feedback, and as you are willing to examine what is being told to you.

For Michael and Tara, their relationship was broken beyond repair.  Tara, despite her efforts to rekindle love, admitted that she felt indifferent at best towards her husband.  What was helpful through this process of discovery and truth seeking, was that both Michael and Tara were now able to dialogue in an honest and open way; their conversations now pertaining to their roles as parents and how they would physically prepare to separate. 

Michael revealed that perhaps for the first time in this or any relationship, he experienced a growing ease as he made an effort to communicate and to share his feelings and thoughts in kind ways rather than blaming others for how he felt, or for what was happening in his life.  Michael would still find himself feeling anger and the undertones of aggression, but acknowledging (first to himself) how he felt, helped bring greater awareness to the situation and to what his actions needed to be.  Expressing his true feelings was helpful for Michael.  Practising self-honesty was healing; his awareness of his feelings helped him to take ownership of what he would do to help himself feel better rather than continue to take his frustrations out in blame on others.

 

Tara was also challenged to continue being self-honest.  Her feelings of disappointment, sadness, as well as annoyance and anger were all too often bottled up.  She now felt empowered to speak her thoughts and feelings with Michael and others; to use her voice, and to validate rather than deny or diminish her feelings.  Tara would remind herself that speaking her truth within a future healthy love relationship would be received respectfully and with positive attention.

"Honesty curates relief and the absence of suffering." - dorothy

Honesty serves as a foundation for mutual trust with the person that you've chosen to be in relationship with, and to nourish the experience of being able to feel heard and understood as your partner honours your truth.  Honesty does not preclude having disagreements but it does set the tone for a respectful exchange of truthful ideas and thoughts that serve to deepen one's knowledge about the other.

 

A note for offering feedback to a loved one...

Please remember to be gentle, compassionate, and kind.  You can convey how you are feeling, including how you have been hurt, by using words that are respectful and considerate.  "I feel...." and "I am feeling...." are examples of how to express with honesty your feelings without pointing blame at another.  Often it is in sharing how we feel and think that misunderstandings and incorrect perceptions can be corrected with ease and heartfelt communication.  It is in this way that both members of a couple relationship can learn from one another while maintaining a respectful and healthy line of communication.

*All names have been changed to maintain the confidentiality of clients.  Additional details or circumstances may have been altered in order to ensure the utmost privacy.


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Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

 

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Kalimba'

A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau for your excellent work!

 

 

The Power of Emotional Connection in Your Love Relationship  | The WISDOM podcast | Season 1 Episode 2

The Power of Emotional Connection in Your Love Relationship | The WISDOM podcast | Season 1 Episode 2

October 6, 2019

 

 

 

The POWER of Emotional Connection In Your Love Relationship

The WISDOM podcast  Season 1  Episode 2

with Dorothy Ratusny

 

TIMESTAMPS:

Two Important 'Takeaways' From This Episode:  2:15  |  The Four Ways to Build Emotional Connection and Intimacy:  3:24 |  The Definition of Emotional Connection:  5:38  |  How Emotional Connection Happens:  6:23  |  One Assumption You Might Have About Love:  10:08 |  The Two Questions to Ask Yourself Which Determine Whether You Have Emotional Connection In Your Love Relationship:  12:04  |  Emotional Connection is Not The Same As Sexual Chemistry:  13:35  |  My Clients' Story - 'Meghan and Danny':  17:46

anatomy of an episode: here's what you will find in this episode of the wisdom podcast

In this episode of The WISDOM podcast, I share with you the four ways that emotional connection and intimacy are built; how to rebuild connection and intimacy; and the real life story of my client Meghan who thought that the connection and intimacy that she felt was mutual, until she got to know her partner Danny, far better. 

 

One of the most important elements in determining the longevity of a mutually loving and healthy relationship is the degree to which both members of a couple feel emotional intimacy and connection. 

 

In this episode, we dive into what is most needed and what holds a love relationship together through life's challenging moments; allowing a couple to feel an intimate and special closeness, the desire to remain faithful and committed to one another, and to continue to learn about each other.  This is a depth of emotional intimacy and connection that is cultivated and sustained throughout the course of the relationship.

 

How You Build Emotional Connection and Intimacy:

  • (1) Authenticity:  be honest and truthful about who you are; be willing to reveal your personality, including your 'likes' and 'dislikes', what you think about and believe in, and the values that you hold.
  • (2) Vulnerability:  Your willingness to reveal personal and intimate aspects of yourself (as you feel safe to do so) that you would not likely share with the rest of the world; admit your faults and wrong doings and be willing to apologize and make things right when you have hurt someone (including your partner).
  • (3) Mutual Respect:  Be willing to uphold and maintain respect and kindness towards your partner even when you both may be in the throws of an argument (because you can destroy so much of the closeness and vulnerability that comes from opening yourself and sharing deeply when you are not respectful nor kind; or if you are at times - purposefully hurtful or vindictive).
  • (4) Unconditional Love:  be love; purely, completely, and without conditions or expectations.

 

"Emotional connection in a love relationship is built on the intimate sharing of who you are, the personal details of your life (past and present), your future dreams and aspirations and who you still desire to be.  Connection and intimacy is cultivated out of your discerned liking (and love) of someone, your genuine interest and desire to learn and know more about the other person and to willingly reveal your whole self - with complete honesty and openness."    - dorothy ratusny

 

"One critical element required by both members of a couple when building emotional connection is complete honesty."

- dorothy ratusny

It is in being vulnerable and wholly honest with yourself first, that allows you to become more aware of what you may be in denial or avoidance of.  The deepest aspects of your self that you are able to reveal to your partner are often the aspects that need to be healed from your past.

 

In the early stages of dating, when you like someone and want to appear favourable in their eyes, it is natural that you want to show them the parts of your self that you want them to see.

 

The (deeper) emotional connection that you establish is built on your mutual ability to be vulnerable, to reveal all of your self even in moments when you are not at your best; and to consistently offer unconditional love, respect and kindness to your partner.

You must speak up if their behaviour is undesirable or unkind but you can do so with love, respectfully.  This allows you to feel safe; to be secure in the commitment of your relationship; and to strengthen your belief in your worthiness of being loved.

 

"Emotional connection is established and deepened by your ability to trust in another wholeheartedly and to feel safe and secure that you will be accepted unconditionally and not judged for who you are." 

- dorothy ratusny

 

"Our emotions serve as a strong indicator and a launching point for all of the choices we make since we are most influenced by how we feel.  The more information we acquire about someone that is pleasing to us (for example, as they present to us as sharing similar values, beliefs and life goals), the more appealing we find them as a potential life mate, and the greater our desire and attraction towards them."

the wisdom podcast season 1 episode 1

 

"Emotional connection and support is expressed most readily through loving words, understanding, patience and thoughtfulness."

 

 

And a loving end note: Regardless of how long you have been in relationship with someone, the emotional connection must continue to be nurtured and coveted as sacred.  Sexual intimacy and physical affection can definitely help to keep an emotional connection strong; but it is also important that a couple be intimate in their sharing of thoughts and feelings; in working together on their life plans and goals; and in who each is becoming.

  

 

Click here to download Relationship Rx:

A journal writing exercise for reflection and re-connection 

A special thanks to my Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell  www.eternell.net/album/illuvia

Accompanying Music:  'To See' by Ludvig Cimbrelius

 

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...

Namaste!

love, dorothy

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