Episodes

Sunday Jun 28, 2020
Sunday Jun 28, 2020
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-1:32 | Definition of Abuse: 1:34 | Episode highlights including my client 'Beth' and the 4 Strategies You Need to Know to Help You Leave An Abusive Relationship: 1:55 | Why We Stay: 3:11 | The Real Life Client Story of 'Beth': 12:13 | How Does Someone Find Themselves in An Abusive Relationship? 24:36 | What Self-Worth Is: 28:29 | The Four Best Strategies to Help You Leave and Also, Keep You Out of an Abusive Relationship: 33:30 | Final Guidance and Words of Wisdom: 47:35 | Podcast Outro: 50:22
In this episode I want to remind you of the power that you hold to choose for yourself the right and best relationship, and how you can stay clear of relationships that are damaging and abusive.
I also wish to illustrate how living with abuse, perpetuates a cycle of dependency and the eradicating of one's self-worth and sense of self; and I will share the story of my client 'Beth', and the four strategies to prevent you from finding yourself in an abusive relationship and enable you to leave.
TRUTH SERUM: There are many forms of abuse. Abuse is, by definition, the mistreatment of another; whether intentional or as a facet of one's consistent actions that one may not be self-aware of.
A-HA MOMENTS: Abuse in the traditional variant forms that we categorize as physical, emotional, and psychological all originate with one's thoughts and beliefs; that is what one tells one's self and justifies in being discriminating, hurtful, and disrespectful towards another, and how one's misguided intentions can lead into a situation and a relationship that is both damaging and abusive.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: We know that relationships that are unhealthy and abusive are also complex and complicated. We stay in these relationships for different reasons; whether because we have convinced ourselves that there is something of benefit to us in staying; or we anticipate the enormous effort it will take to execute our decision to leave. We stay because we tell our self that the "relationship is really not that bad"; that maybe "we deserve how we are being mistreated"; and in some cases, we may tell ourselves "we don't care."
For whatever the reasons you may have found yourself with an abusive partner, know that by continuing to remain in the relationship, you continue to sacrifice yourself; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and cognitively or mentally.
If you are listening to this episode because something deep within you is yearning for help, guidance, and perhaps validation of what you know but have been afraid to believe, I hope that in listening, you will allow your inner voice to become louder, to rely on it for what you know is true and to be willing to care for yourself first with the knowledge that you are not alone, that you will get through this; that you will feel better, happier, and stronger; and that if and when you choose it, you can and will find the right partner and the love that you truly want.
Here, is a link to download a PDF with episode notes and the questions that I encourage you to ask, that will help you to mobilize yourself to take action. 💜
*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me. You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com.
Find all Episodes here: https://www.dorothyratusny.com/wisdompodcast/
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to Dorothy's weekly WISDOM Notes here:
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell 'Melting While Falling' and 'Home'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help! https://platosound.com/

Sunday Jun 28, 2020
Sunday Jun 28, 2020
Your Life and How You Live Begins Now
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 8
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:10 | An Introduction to this Episode: 2:13 | Part One: 11:56 | Part Two: 20:58 | Podcast Outro: 27:56
This is our global awakening; this is our new world. This is your opportunity, your time, your free will that will choose what will be. When you feel uncertain; and there is much that is still unknown, remember to decide what is in your power to choose; to reclaim, to live awake, because in this time everything that you have ever wanted and desired now is before you. It is of your choosing.
Only you can choose this.
You are not alone, everyone has their own path to walk forward in. The life that you once lived is forever changed. You embrace the present. You may witness all of the moments of your life as you look forward and feel grateful of these many joys that are possible because you choose this. Everything becomes significant. Everything becomes a possibility and something worth asking for. Your life and what you live begins now. Choose your life. Live in peace. Begin this now.
*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me. You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com.
Find all Episodes here: https://www.dorothyratusny.com/wisdompodcast/
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to Dorothy's weekly WISDOM Notes here:
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell 'Melting While Falling' and 'Home'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help! https://platosound.com/

Sunday Jun 07, 2020
Sunday Jun 07, 2020
Kindness As Love: A Tribute to George Floyd + A Prose Meditation
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 7
with Dorothy Ratusny
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-1:33 | There Is Something More: 2:05 | When We Learn How To Treat Ourselves Kindly... 2:43 | Beneath The Colour Of Our Skin... 3:37 | A Global Pandemic Of A Different Nature: 4:19 | Practice Kindness Unto Yourself First 6:33 | Every Thought Is Powerful: 7:33 | George Floyd will... 7:57 | How Best to Experience A Prose Meditation: 8:41 | Prose Meditation - Kindness As Love: 10:09 | Podcast Outro: 29:40
There is something else that we must look at now. Now as we continue to navigate life; as we return to some of what has been absent; finding our way to a new and better way of life even as some aspects of this may take time to become what we are used to. There is something more that we are being called to examine; to change if these beliefs conflict with what we know to be the right choice.
Right now in a world torn by differing beliefs; beliefs that have been taught to us by those who also did not have all of the right information; those who may have been living in fear, unknowing of what it truly means to live with your heart open and to be of kindness first and foremost unto yourself.
Because when we learn how to treat ourselves kindly; how to change the thoughts that we want to hold that are remarkable; that instill within us the examples of love and compassion; of resiliency; and inner strength; of teaching ourselves and our children how to live as our inherent goodness and to always do the right thing.
Then we become a home, a community, a nation and a planet in which amongst our differences we share the commodity of loving grace; of treating each other with dignity, respect, kindness - for beneath the color of our skin, the clothes we wear, beneath the thoughts that we might hold or our learned beliefs; we are all of the same physical structure; our hearts beat - we walk and run, we can use our hands to form the universal symbol of peace or to disrespect another.
We can build gardens, playgrounds, places to meet; to laugh, to gather, to share our talents or we can build walls that divide and separate.
What we are reminded of in the world at this time is a global pandemic of a different nature and one that is equally important. We are reminded of how intolerance, rage, suffering, violence... spreads. It is a disease - a virus of its own nature, if allowed to persist.
This brave new world that we are being thrust forward into is a world that must be founded on the protection of love and kindness. Kindness is Love.
When you practice this, when you hold kindness for yourself; when you make this your first choice; our honor every living being because you cannot be kind and loving unto yourself without extending this outward.
The expression and nature of kindness is all consuming. When we as a planet decide how we must treat others, we need to begin here with our self; with our internal language, our inner dialogue; the messages and beliefs that we hold as individuals and understanding of this; if we are unkind, unloving, critical, hurtful; in our words spoken inward or aloud to our self, then we must first change this.
We cannot hold love in our heart to another living being when we are distraught, angered, resentful; if we are judging another; if we o not allow someone the same rights and privileges that we want for our self.
You must practice kindness unto yourself first if you are to nurture the kind of relationships that are of love with all others.
Regardless of what you have been taught; regardless of what you have known because your experiences have continued to shape your existing perspective, you must be willing to stand ground to this.
To make kindness and love your first and only choices if you are to live a life of peace and immense joy and to see the world as it is; as heaven on earth. You decide this. You live based on your inner perceptions projected outward. Every thought is powerful. Every choice that you make holds the distinct line of what will be your liberation and freedom or what holds you back; what limits your world view; what causes your own suffering.
George Floyd will forever be a reminder of this. You may choose kindness and love above all else. You may choose it as dignity and grace unto yourself and towards all others because this is our new liberation; our new hope; our new normal. Kindness as love directed first unto yourself and then towards all other living beings. This too is what we all must choose now.
As you listen to the prose meditation that follows, let yourself close your eyes. Feel the words. Let their meaning fill you with hope and promise of a new normal that you may choose for yourself. For all others. Namaste! xo
*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me. You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com.
Find all Episodes here: https://www.dorothyratusny.com/wisdompodcast/
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to Dorothy's weekly WISDOM Notes here:
Additional Resources:
What I Need to Heal: An Inspirational Prose Meditation
A Meditation for Radiating Kindness
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: 1. Hammock - I Could Hear the Water at the Edge of All Things 2. Eternell - 'Elysia'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help! Check out this: platosound

Sunday May 31, 2020
Sunday May 31, 2020
Why You Need To Unplug From Technology For A Day: The Science of How A Digital Detox Improves Your Life
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 6
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:10 | An Introduction to this Episode: 2:11 | How To Unplug: 6:05 | What is One Thing That You Discovered During Your Digital Detox? 20:19 | Podcast Outro: 20:46
You may have thought about it; or even attempted it; but have you ever completely unplugged from technology for o n e d a y? This means not reaching for your phone or tablet as one of your first habits of the morning; choosing instead to contemplate what you are most aware of; what thoughts you want to hold - and how you want to feel? - even as your senses may be highly acute - and yearning for a deliberate dose of something. But what? - comfort? meaningful connection? curiosity? validation? escape?
What is the experience of a day in your life - best enjoyed - without the comfort and luxury of the internet, phone calls, emails, texts, and anything else that keeps you tightly enmeshed in the matrix? How will you live off the grid for an entire 24 hours? Why would you want to?
TRUTH SERUM: One of the greatest contributors to our global levels of worry, stress, and sadness is the result of not having time alone; whether in a solitude activity of regular inner contemplation and reflection. Doing do, you may initially experience a degree of discomfort that you soon find released; soothed from, as you choose to use your unplugged time to be with you - and to establish a nourishing and positive relationship with your inner self.
A-HA MOMENTS: The advent of personal cellular devices and our increasing reliance on being 'plugged in' has many benefits. However, your 'technology free' day may be an important step in seeking to know yourself better - and to question some of the perpetual habits that may keep you in a cycle of choices that do not serve you.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: Notice what you discover about yourself; your desires, and what reminds you of the importance of unplugging regularly. 20 minutes a day might be perfect - to be with yourself - to identify and nourish your needs and perhaps to know what greater meaning is revealed here - in the present - away from any need to 'do' or 'accomplish' - instead holding attention, patience, and love - directed inward.
*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me. You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com.
Find all Episodes here: https://www.dorothyratusny.com/wisdompodcast/
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to Dorothy's weekly WISDOM Notes here:
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Illuvia - Past Lives & Inner Worlds - Drupad
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help! platosound.com

Sunday May 24, 2020
Sunday May 24, 2020
Hope For Each One of Us
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 5
with Dorothy Ratusny
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:09 | Episode Intro and a Little About My Experience and Training of Meditation: 2:13 | Hope For The New Conditions of Our Lives and This Prose Meditation: 4:15 | HOPE Meditation: 6:46 | Podcast Outro: 17:36
In this week's episode, I wish to share with you a special meditation on hope. Hope for the new conditions of our lives that will move us into a kinder and more compassionate world; hope for each one of us as we surge forward, our lives ultimately changed and that we may embrace what change can be for the better, to lead us deeper into our selves and to the oneness of our beautiful nature as love in action.
Hope that as you are guided through this prose meditation; and as you settle in to a comfortable posture, let yourself be guided by my words and notice what impressions and insights arise for you.
A-HA MOMENTS: Our lives are always meant to be of grace; of wonder; of the most privilege because this is our inherent state.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: As much change as we are all experiencing right now, and during this time of a global pandemic; this meditation reminds us that hope needs to be present for the deliberate teachings of our heart; stirring, rising up; to be the messages that we honour for our new lives; for our lives always.
TRUTH SERUM: Breathe in new life, new choices, new reasons for choosing to live in harmony with each other and the planet. It is always possible to find peace; to choose what will sustain us.
*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me. You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com.
Find all Episodes here: https://www.dorothyratusny.com/wisdompodcast/
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to Dorothy's weekly WISDOM Notes here:
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell: 'The Winds and the Wonder' and 'Zahara'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!

Sunday May 17, 2020
Sunday May 17, 2020
Reclaim Your Life: The Path to Living Awakened
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 4
"Each time that you make a conscious effort to look for and see what 'is' (true), you shift yourself into present moment awareness; that is, you become awake and aware - mindful - for as long as you choose to live in this state." - dzj
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:10 | Introducing This Episode and The Secret to Reclaim Your Life: 2:11 | How We All Have "Aha" Moments: 4:21 | My Client Mackenzie: 5:24 | What Happens When You Are Not Fully Awake: 6:33 | The Questions That Instantly Bring You Back Into The Present Moment: 9:34 | How To Experience Your 'Flash of Light' Like Mackenzie: 11:29 | Podcast Outro: 15:50
There are not only single moments that you awaken to. You live awake and aware as you live of the present moment and willing to live in your truth.
In this episode of the wisdom podcast, I share with you one client's story that speaks to the remarkable way in which we all have 'aha' moments ~ moments of awakening to what is true and we also have a choice in those moments.
We may choose how we will live - awake and aware, or in denial and avoidance, ignoring, not wanting to know; deliberating, telling our self whatever will help us to feel better temporarily even if it is not accurate.
I'd like you to listen to my client: Mackenzie's story, as she came to the liberating and powerful realization that her awakened state was more than a single moment and that she - like you, can choose a path of living awake and reclaiming life.
A-HA MOMENTS: We are now encouraged as a planet to question everything; to return to what we know to be true and right and we can apply this awakened state of being to how we will live the rest of our life.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: We are rediscovering what it means to direct the course of our life, to no longer live on automatic pilot doing what were told we should do by others who were also told this.
TRUTH SERUM: In today's brave new world, we are surrounded by the ability to choose with awareness ~ with living awake to our experiences and to what it means to choose consciously, mindfully and deliberate because living awake is also the precursor for living in your truth.
When you begin to ask questions of your inner nature; your highest self (your truth), and then to listen and acknowledge the answers that come ~ with some patience, you will likely also experience a flash of light, an ‘aha moment’, something similar to what Mackenzie described that marks your awakened state, and the freedom to choose how you will now live your life.
This gateway into truth is completely yours to decide. You may not approve of everything that you see with eyes wide open. Perhaps like Mackenzie and others, who go through a myriad of emotions including sadness and regret for living so much of their life in a habitual way that rarely honored their own needs and desires, you too may feel remorse or self-loathing for what you are now discovering.
If you would like my help as you open yourself to living awake and to the ongoing commitment of being self-honest and wholly truthful, please reach out to me. Let me help. You can find me at: dorothyratusny.com
Find all Episodes here: https://www.dorothyzennuriyejuno.com/wisdompodcast/
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to Dorothy's weekly WISDOM Notes here:
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell
Accompanying Music: Eternell 'Inner Song'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!

Sunday Apr 19, 2020
The WISDOM podcast - Season Two Trailer with Dorothy Ratusny
Sunday Apr 19, 2020
Sunday Apr 19, 2020
The WISDOM podcast - Season Two Trailer with Dorothy Ratusny
Highlighting some of the most listened to episodes from Season One and sharing what is to come in this new season as we step it up; dedicating each episode to all that you need right now to support you in your decision to thrive; and to live as your best self in each moment of each day, with ease and confidence.
Excel in life by your definition as you live with certainty of all that you desire most; and with the knowledge of how to make your desires - your lived reality.
I can't wait to share all of this brand new season of The WISDOM podcast with you!
Each episode is released; always on Sunday at 8pm EST and always with love; from me to you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!

Monday Apr 06, 2020
Monday Apr 06, 2020
From Fear to Love: Three Best Practices
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Bonus Episode 3
with Dorothy Zennuriye Juno
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:10 | Episode Dedication: 2:14 | When You Live In Fear, This is What Happens: 3:39 | The First Best Practice to Alleviate Fear: 5:42 | Questions to Ask Yourself to Bring You Into the Present Moment: 8:53 | The Second Best Practice to Alleviate Fear 13:53 | The Third Best Practice to Alleviate Fear: 16:43 | What it Feels Like to Feel Love: 18:06 | How to Live As Love as Your State of Being - A Meditative Practice: 20:38 | Podcast Outro: 26:11
It is only when you are fixated on a problem that worries surface: your mind directed towards what is unwanted and what causes you to suffer.
TRUTH SERUM: Fear keeps you locked in feelings of powerlessness; your worry of the future causes you to ultimately lose your life in the present moment; unaware of the power that you have to focus on what is wanted.
A-HA MOMENTS: I want to show you how to alleviate fear; and to explain how you may move from a place of fear about anything, into one of knowledge, truth, and a focus on what is desired and wanted, and then to build upon this further into a state of love; of calm, knowing right action, and perseverance (of a plan and the steps that are needed to help you stay on course towards what you desire and to feel confidence (as you mobilize yourself and take right action), and of purpose (of accomplishing constructive behaviors and feeling the relief of fear). This is possible for each one of us – of all ages; to do for our self.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: This is not about conquering your fear. We need to feel fear because it has a purpose if experienced for the right reasons. The ‘right’ reasons include a real threat that then allows you to mobilize yourself in safety and care. Perceived or imagined fears are psychological and are not necessarily based in real and factual information. When you experience the feeling of fear based upon your worries of a future moment that has not yet or may never happen; the feeling is real, although the fear is not based in absolute truth. And there is a difference.
In fear, you have lost control; you have let go of the threads that weave together your life so beautifully; this intricate and necessary tapestry that supports you in all of the moments of your life; – evades you when you are in fear.
When you are in fear, you do not notice the love in the eyes of your partner, you miss out on the feeling of love that is present in the hug that your child gives eagerly; you see the robin scanning the path in front of you as it runs hurriedly over the earth before lifting its wings in flight, easing itself upward to sit on a branch of a tree; but you are not able to give any of this your full attention because you are trapped inside your mind, dwelling on what keeps you locked in worry and fear.
1. Your first step to alleviate fear; fear of this present global health crisis or any fear that you are consumed by, is akin to the analogy that you must cast yourself a life buoy and then observe intently as you are securely pulled to safety. Your life buoy is a metaphor for your ability to pull yourself into the present moment.
This is not about conquering your fear. We need to feel fear because it has a purpose if experienced for the right reasons. The ‘right’ reasons include a real threat that then allows you to mobilize yourself in safety and care. Perceived or imagined fears are psychological and are not necessarily based in real and factual information. When you experience the feeling of fear based upon your worries of a future moment that has not yet or may never happen; the feeling is real, although the fear is not based in absolute truth. And there is a difference.
In this health pandemic, there is a lot of information that can heighten your fear; the overloading of information some of it inaccurate, some of it truthful; can still cause you to feel fearful when you have not previously.
Sometimes, as you seek to have all of the right knowledge and information; focusing on the finding and having of facts can cause hypervigilance - acute focus on this problem even if your facts can now offer ideas for what you need to do. It is only when you are fixated on a problem that worries surface: your mind directed towards what is unwanted and what causes you to suffer.
I want to show you how to alleviate fear; and to explain how you may move from a place of fear about anything, into one of knowledge, truth, and a focus on what is desired and wanted, and then to build upon this further into a state of love; of calm, knowing right action, and perseverance (of a plan and the steps that are needed to help you stay on course towards what you desire and to feel confidence (as you mobilize yourself and take right action), and of purpose (of accomplishing constructive behaviours and feeling the relief of fear). This is possible for each one of us – of all ages; to do for our self.
The first best practice is to move yourself into the present moment. A way to define the present is to ask of yourself, “What do I need in this moment?” This is a profoundly important question because it brings your attention from wherever your mind is focused into now; because you need to be able to assess yourself from the present moment to know what you need. This is how you direct your brain to focus in the present.
Another question that brings your attention into the present is to ask: “How Do I Want to Feel Now?” With either answer in mind, you continue by next asking, “For what I need, how can I give this to myself now?” Or in the case of the second question, for how I want to feel, “What thoughts will allow me to feel this feeling?” and then, decide what those thoughts are, and write them. Return to these thoughts when your mind becomes focused again onto what is less helpful.
For whatever you need and for how you want to feel; as you focus your mind in the present moment, you will be able to provide for yourself what is wanted. Here, it is important to follow through; to answer your questions and then to act on these as it keeps you engaged in the presence of your life. For example, What are the thoughts that will allow me to feel calm? Then to write these, and to say your thoughts aloud so that you can hear your own voice comforting you as you observe your desired feelings of calm rise up. For example, “I am beginning to feel calm”, “I am working towards calm now”, and “I am calm.”
The emotion of fear is felt whenever you recall and focus on a past situation in which you experienced fear. Fear is most likely to surface when you are anticipating a future unwanted moment that has not yet or may never happen.
2. The second strategy or best practice for alleviating fear is to focus on taking action based on what is wanted. You remain in the feeling of fear when you are focused on an undesired outcome. If you think about what you don’t want; what you are fearful of, what worries you of the future; your attention and focus is going to be entirely on the very thing that you do not want.
"Fear lies in the future unknown. It is extinguished when you are of this moment." - dorothy zennuriye juno
To eliminate fear, you must focus on having factual information that educates and then mobilizes you to take the right action towards what you desire; to best protect yourself and your family, to avoid others as much as possible through social distancing, and to be self-disciplined in the need for self-quarantine or self-isolation if you have travelled, or if you have flu-like symptoms until you feel well again.
Rather than hold thoughts that cause you worry, focus on what positive action you will take and do this. Assertive action will cause you to feel encouraged, relief, reassured, empowered, and even calm and happy.
When you focus on what is not wanted or a worse case scenario, you will feel anxiety, fear and even panic. It isn’t that you can’t think about you fears, its simply that doing so is not going to help you. Your best decision is to use the accurate information that you have gathered to make proactive and wise decisions for yourself and your family. And then to take action and continue this positive action towards what is desired.
This includes problem solving, choosing to hold reassuring thoughts and to speak these with others. What can you tell yourself and say out loud in the presence of others that will be reassuring and uplifting? You may also want to write these and to remind yourself of what is most helpful.
3. Finally, let me show you how to move out of fear into love:
You know how fear feels. We all have felt it. Fear of something imagined or real (such as this global health crisis) remains your reality for as long as you choose to focus on the future worse case outcome rather than focus on the present moment and what you are doing now to achieve what is your ideal or desired outcome.
Remember the strategies we’ve just discussed and the first best practice: to focus on how you want to feel and then to decide what you need to think or do to feel this – now. You can also identify what you need in this moment to feel calm, secure, safe or any other desired feeling; and then seek this out, whether to calm yourself, to enjoy an activity in the present moment, to learn, to laugh, to enjoy being with your family, and to do your best to remain healthy; to take every precaution that you can, and to have faith and belief in a global positive outcome for all of us.
You also know how it feels to feel love. Try it with me now. Close your eyes. Say it for yourself. What do I love? What simple joys, pleasures do you love? Who do I love? Notice what feelings rise up. Choose to focus for a little longer, here, in the space of what love feels like. Allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, to notice where in your body you feel the energy of love; to live in this feeling; to describe to yourself what the feeling of love feels like.
As you make the decision to live more of your life in the space of feeling the feelings of love; whether by thinking about those that you love, or what you love and feel appreciation for; what allows you to feel joy; and to witness the feeling of love and joy felt throughout your being. You can also begin to evoke love as a state that you live in of being as you live as and to live from your heart more of the time, to step out of the busy nature of your mind and to live intuitively – in the present moment, and of your heart. Let me show you how you can live as love as a way of being. It’s a simple heart opening meditative practice that will allow you to feel full with love.
As you close your eyes, imagine a beautiful light in your heart centre (use image). Give this light a colour. What colour best represents for you the colour of light and the energy of love? See this colour glowing in your heart center.
As you give this light you attention, you realize that it is always present, always a part of you in all moments. Maybe before now you were not conscious of it but it has always been with you. Now when you wish to deliberately live out of your heart – see, imagine, and visualize this light within glowing, and expansive. You may also begin to witness it filling the area of your chest and expanding outward, filling your entire body. Notice the vibration of energy that you feel as you see and imagine the energy of your heart moving outward.
This is your reminder of the energy of love that you hold within and that you allow yourself to be by choice. As you hold this image and the feeling of this energy, you witness it as a sacred part of you. Remember this energy – and the feeling of love as it rises up – expansive and throughout your being. Come back to it in all moments that you want to feel this love. This is what you are.
At this time in our lives, we all need to make the decision from where we will live; whether in a state of love, where we can share our loving nature with others by choice; through loving words and actions and as we choose to make responsible, educated decisions (and as you do so, to do so) out of love and the desire for what is wanted, as you hold faith and belief that your actions guided in the right way, will allow you to achieve all of what is most desired.
If you would like to have more practice in experiencing yourself in a state of love – please have a look at the links I’ll leave for you here, (in the transcript notes) for additional guided practices, specific meditations and further audio recordings of love from me to you.
*Resources for Activating Love From Within: (From Me to You 💜)
I AM Love in All Moments: A Prose Meditation
A Meditation for Living with Your Heart Open
3 Self-Love Practices that You Need to Know
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help! radioplato
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Elevation'

Sunday Feb 09, 2020
Sunday Feb 09, 2020
Do You Let Love In? How To Feel Deserving Of Love
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 16
with Dorothy Ratusny
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-1:32 | Episode Overview: 1:35 | Are You Ready To Let Love In? 3:57 | What Makes It Difficult to Feel Loved?: 4:42 | Altruistic Giving of Love: 7:58 | A Question To Ask Yourself: 9:47 | What Is The True Meaning of Self-Love? 10:00 | Resources to Practice Self-Love: 10:16 | The Origins of Feeling Undeserving of Love: 11:03 | Your Personal Definition of Success - A 'Best Practice': 12:05 | How Can You Receive Love? 16:40 | Learn How To Open Your Heart At Will: 18:12 | The Three Best Practices for Opening Your Heart: 21:32 | The Freedom to Choose to Live From Your Heart: 25:32 | Reminders For Your Next Steps: 26:08 | It's a Wrap! 27:00 | Podcast Outro: 27:36
TRUTH SERUM: Knowing that you are deserving of love originates in how you feel about yourself. Being secure and confident in yourself; appreciating who you are - even as you may be seeking to improve aspects of yourself reminds you that the deepest experience of consistent and affirming love is what you feel unto yourself. It is what you are wholly responsible for. This is self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love.
A-HA MOMENTS: If you look outside of yourself to feel worthy and lovable, you make others responsible for your feelings. Others can never fill the void that comes with not believing in your worth. There is a specific process for learning self-love and building self-worth that I can help you with and it includes rewriting your core beliefs. Loving yourself unconditionally is what allows you to live nourished, uplifted and to thrive.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: “When you feel value and worth; when you feel successful by your own definition, it is easier to feel deserving of love; love that is directed towards your self.” - Dorothy Ratusny
💕 Perhaps one of the greatest sources of happiness and well being comes directly out of our ability to love our self and to be able to receive and internalize the positive words and actions of others; to allow the love and kindness from others to be felt deep within our being. After all, we thrive in knowing and feeling that we are loved.
So how appropriate is it as we are coming up to the one day of the year where our focus is on love? Predominantly romantic love but hopefully we are also able to think of love as a human construct that we can live as. In this episode, we examine why it is so important to be able to feel loved by others and unto our self and how can we be much better at this. I invite you to find a comfortable place where you can listen taking in the ideas, the concepts and feeling the importance of what it means to receive the love that others have for you and to have it also for yourself as the most definitive means of feelings and knowing your wholeness.
Do you let love in? Are you ready to?
It is possible to shower others with love and kindness; to think of others' needs and to give ceaselessly of yourself - and yet feel unloved, unappreciated, or undeserving of love.
"Helping others, being kind, thoughtful, and generous of spirit - is how you are love in action; and yet being love does not predicate that one is able to feel deserving or worthy of love - and to let it in (to receive it fully)."
How is it that 'giving love' can seem easier than receiving it?
What makes it so difficult to feel loved?
I think of all of the caregivers of the world, and the reasons for why they give. The first reason may be the most obvious; that they are simply following their instinct; they are acting with the intention to do for others something that they believe will help them, that will allow them to feel happy; and that spreads love and kindness purely for altruistic reasons. Giving comes easily as they follow their natural yearning - an innately driven desire and flows ceaselessly from one’s heart as it remains open in loving kindness. But are there are other reasons for why we give? When you give of yourself, is it unconditional, do your require anything in return?
Why can it be easier to give love than to receive it?
Since it is your fundamental nature to be love, naturally you want to give love to others and you can do this even if you don't like or love who you are. If you dislike yourself or feel undeserving of love, then giving love to others is one way that you intrinsically feel better about yourself (and you should) - since being loving-kindness is the highest ideal to live as. If you were reared to believe that love was conditional; that you had to earn it through good behaviour or tasks completed - then you may have grown up believing that you have to give and do for others first in order to receive love, acceptance, approval, or anything else that you needed. You may also have been taught that you must always give more than what you receive.
Giving of yourself, seeking to please others, and placing others' needs before your own - can be both a deliberate and an unconscious means of seeking love. This type of love is considered conditional.
If you do not feel secure in a relationship, if you have been taught by your earliest experiences that you must do for others in order to receive love, if you find it difficult to take in (to receive) words and actions depicting love that are given to you by another - then your kindness and care may at times be driven by your need and desire to feel loved - even if you still struggle to feel this.
Acts of kindness - of giving and doing - are one way that we are able to show love. Yet, are we doing for others in part because we have learned through experience that we may receive love in return for our loving actions?
Knowing that you are deserving of love originates in how you feel about yourself. Being secure and confident in yourself; appreciating who you are - even as you may be seeking to improve aspects of yourself reminds you that the deepest experience of consistent and affirming love is what you feel unto yourself. It is what you are wholly responsible for. This is self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love.
When you love yourself without conditions (including the parts of you that you are seeking to change and improve - by choice), then giving of yourself may be wholly altruistic rather than out of a need to seek praise, approval, and love. Self-love and acceptance is what you may continue to foster and develop throughout your lifetime. It may be said that you can become better at loving your self unconditionally - with daily positive self-talk, 'right' action that supports your authentic self, and the feeling of gratitude that comes with your willingness to acknowledge your goodness and all that you are.
"Your kindness and love in words and actions without a need (or desire) to receive anything in return is an example of unconditional love - towards another." - dorothy ratusny
Unconditional love can seem fleeting at times. When you are in a positive mind set; when you are happy and confident, it is easier to like and love your self and to be loving kindness towards others. Unconditional love is present in the moments when you are most characteristically your authentic self. This is an important reason why we all need to live honest and true to who we are; because accepting and loving our authentic self is easiest when we seek to live this - to be authentic first and in all moments.
Here is a question to ask yourself: Can I love and cherish myself as I AM without needing anyone to approve of or validate me?
What is the true meaning of self-love?
How can you practice self-love in ways that nourish and soothe you; and that feel fulfilling?
What is needed in order to feel self-love unconditionally and unequivocally?
Not only does it feel good to contribute to another’s happiness; but positive words and actions directed towards yourself, helps you to feel good, deserving, and of value. It also reaffirms the following questions:
Do you rely on the praise and love of others in order to feel loved?
and
Do you give ceaselessly to others but find it difficult to receive and internalize or 'own' the praise and kindness that is given to you?
The origins of feeling unworthy and undeserving of love have deep roots often buried in childhood and reinforced with many experiences that you believed to be 'true' and which caused you to discount your goodness and to feel unlovable. These core beliefs underlie the depths of your self worth; affecting how you think and feel - and what you believe about your self.
If you look outside of yourself to feel worthy and lovable, you make others responsible for your feelings. Others can never fill the void that comes with not believing in your worth. There is a specific process for learning self-love and building self-worth that I can help you with and it includes rewriting your core beliefs. Loving yourself unconditionally is what allows you to live nourished, uplifted and to thrive.
If you want to let love in, if you want to feel more love, including more self-love, I want you to consider this strategy: Define success on your terms. Create your personal DEFINITION OF SUCCESS.
Create a list of the virtues and attributes that you admire and approve of, and which you already possess. Use this definition as your new measure of success. Let your definition of success be about you - and not others. There needs to be no comparison - only the acknowledgement of your goodness to yourself.
For example: humility, kindness, taking action for what you believe in, self-honesty, self-worth, love of learning, patience and resilience. Download the pdf here and get started. Decide what will be your Definition of Personal Success!
This definition is powerful because it identifies what you value most and it allows you to begin to rewrite what scripts you may have in your mind that you have been taught or conditioned to believe and which are not true indicators of your success and worthiness.
Defining your personal measure of success may be a challenge if you are accustomed to being self critical and diminishing your worth; or if you have been taught that you need to do for others in order to be deserving of their love. The objective in deciding your definition of success is to help you change the way that you think and feel about yourself; and to own your worth and your successes - now, wholly. Focusing on your definition and measure of success reminds you of the ways in which you are already a success in your life - as you define it.
Once you have written this, place your personal definition of success where you can read it every day. Add to your definition each time you notice the ways in which you treat others with unconditional kindness and generosity; and as you acknowledge more of the positive virtues that you possess. Let this definition of success be the way in which you prove to yourself that you are worthy of self love; that you are valuable and important as you are. This is how you embrace your existing success - and how you intentionally raise your self esteem and worth. This is to help you take in the kind words, the love, the feelings of what you are. This is so that you no longer require the feedback and approval of others to know that you are good enough, deserving, and lovable.
Whenever you notice that you may be comparing your qualities to someone that you deem to be better than or more accomplished than you in some way, come back to your personal definition of success. Remember that this definition is driven by the values that are most important to you.
When you focus back onto your own definition of success, your need to compare yourself to anyone else diminishes significantly. What you define as most important to you, will be a description of what is successful to you. Let your own criteria determine what is successful.
This is a reminder of your goodness, your worth and that you are deserving of love. Let this criteria also help you set future goals based on what you truly desire - and not because of what others are doing, having, or achieving.
What you define as success is also what you identify as something worth working towards. If it is a true marker of success for you then it will be important enough for you to pursue and accomplish.
“When you feel value and worth; when you feel successful by your own definition, it is easier to feel deserving of love; love that is directed towards your self.” - Dorothy Ratusny
How you receive love...
When you receive love it is because you have opened your heart. You cannot receive another's kindness and thoughtful action unless your heart is open; that is - that you are willing to receive love. This is also how you are able to feel love directed inward. You must be willing to practice self-kindness, self-care and compassion and to believe in your worthiness of deserving love.
You can prime yourself for receiving love by means of your current mood state. If you are angry, sad, or any unpleasant or unwanted emotion; it will be impossible in that moment - to feel the love that another is attempting to give you (whether in kind words or deliberate action). Alternatively, if you are happy; if you feel content and peaceful - and you are offered a hug; for example, it will be easy for you to receive this and to feel the loving kindness of another directed towards you. When you are happy and peaceful; when you are in the present moment - your heart is open. With your heart open, it is possible for you to feel compassion and kindness towards yourself.
You can learn how to open your heart at will.
You can live with conscious awareness of the flow of life force energy moving through you and of feeling this energy most deeply in your heart centre; or you may be consumed by the thoughts of your (ego) mind. This is always a choice. When you open your heart it is because of your conscious choice to do so; it is because you are choosing to be present in this moment and to hold yourself open to kindness and love - to being this and to receiving this in perfect and yet simple ways. When you perceive the world (and especially those with whom you interact) as friendly and kind; as people doing their best even if their best is not the same as your own; life seems to be in harmony; things work out for you with relative ease; and you feel happiness readily. In these moments, when you attune to the energy of your heart - it feels expansive, freeing, and ever so light. You constrict the flow of this energy whenever you perceive yourself or others with harshness, negativity and bias judgment.
Just as you can learn to open your heart at will, know that you have also learned to close it. Most often we learn to close our heart energy (chakra) as a form of self protection; of needing to protect and withstand what hurt (anger, or unfair treatment, including abuse) was shown to us. We instinctively learn to close our heart whenever we sense that we may be hurt by another, taken advantage of, or if we interpret a situation as stressful or dangerous. Closing our heart energy becomes a learned behaviour - and one that we do instinctively - most often without realizing.
“Our nature is to love. When we have been hurt or betrayed by someone we still want to love them, we long to still feel loved by them. In these moments, our best practice is to direct our love within; to bathe our self with the feeling of love experienced fully.” - Dorothy Ratusny
Giving unto others opens our heart; any action of kindness will allow us to be open to receiving love because through giving we are also able to receive. Living of your heart open to love transmutes into the world and specifically as loving kindness directed towards others. The question is: “How good are we at doing this for our self?”
There are three best practices for achieving this self-love and for opening your heart and these you can implement immediately. The first: kind self-talk what you tell yourself you believe; every cell in your body is listening. Therefore, its important that the words that you speak each day inside your mind unto yourself are words of love and kindness and that they are uplifting.
The second best practice that will allow you to feel your heart open to self-love is gratitude and thanks for all that you are; all that you have both in your relationships with others and as you are your incredible self. Each one of us can be more encouraging and approving of our self as we are. When we teach our children that they are special and exquisite, we teach them how to love their self regardless of what mistakes they will make.
The third best practice is this: The way you live will always build your feelings of worth and your love directed inward. Therefore, aim to always live in the most kind and honourable way. In summary: Choose to live life seeing the good in others, being grateful for everything that you can possibly feel grateful for, as well as what is still on its way to you and trust in the power of desire to fuel your loving action felt most beautifully directed within.
If our earliest life teachings support this natural ability to love our self first and if this could be consistently reinforced, then we would truly be self-sustaining; able to rely on our self first and foremost for love, encouragement, and the knowledge that we are more than enough. When we are taught to love and cherish our self, then we will be more willing to follow what is best and right for who we are, rather than seek to be what others want of us, or as what we may think that others will appreciate or approve of because of our willingness to be what they desire and believe.
It is the most perfect and loving gift for us to take care of our self, to look after our needs first and to do what allows us to feel our innate happiness. If you practice self-love and self-care such as listening to and honouring what is aligned with your highest good, then you will remain on a path that supports and validates you and that helps you to live in a way that you can feel best about yourself.
“It is your inherent and authentic nature to be loving; to live with your heart open - to be kind to all others.” - dorothy ratusny
It certainly helps when others also practice loving kindness; however it is important to know that your natural and inherent state - is one of love. It is when you live out of your ego mind that you are susceptible to critical and self damaging thoughts which cause you to feel unworthy, anxious, angry, or sad. This is how you close the energy of your heart (and thus your ability to feel loved) quite deliberately and often without awareness of doing so.
The freedom to choose to live from your heart is your free will choice. Practice deliberately opening your heart; and seek to live far more of your life with your heart open. This is how you witness what it means to live as a being of love - deliberately. Living with your heart open is the mechanism for being love, for loving kindness, and self-love.
Gifts of Love: Helpful Reads and Experiential Practices to Nurture Self-Love and Self-Acceptance:
This is Love... A Guided Meditation
Discover the 3 self-love practices that will help you live as love in this video
A Love Message to My Soul: A Prose Meditation
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Floating' (20 min) and 'Embrace'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!

Sunday Jan 19, 2020
Sunday Jan 19, 2020
The Three Secrets of Self-Discipline
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 13
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:16 | Your Self-Discipline is What Sets You Apart From Others: 4:25 | Self-Discipline Encourages Within You... 5:32 | Self-Discipline is a Measure of Your Level of Commitment to Yourself: 8:18 | Self-Discipline is A Life Skill that Defines Your Greatness: 9:37 | Begin Here: 12:47 | The First Secret of Self-Discipline: 14:50 | Your Success Strategy for this First Secret: 16:11 | The Second Secret of Self-Discipline: 18:20 | Your Success Strategy Question for this Second Secret: 21:08 | The Third Secret of Self-Discipline: 22:32 | Guidance for the Success Strategy of this Third Secret: 26:54 | My Recommendation for Your Practice of Self-Discipline to Make It an Ever Present Success Habit: 31:54 | Join the Facebook Group 'LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE... NOW!' for More Support and Guidance: 32:58 | A Preview of Next Week's Episode on Naming Your Sankalpa: 33:54 | Podcast Outro: 35:42
You thrive in self-discipline. Self-discipline is personal power. It is a discernible and distinctly present force that helps you to accomplish what is desired, to make the best and right choices, and to live exuding confidence and self-respect.
TRUTH SERUM: On a daily basis, self-discipline is what you harness that gets you into the gym, it is the voice that says "no" to a choice of eating what food is not healthy; and it is what mobilizes you to seek more for yourself through conscious and deliberate action. But suppose you wanted to wield greater self-discipline easily as a success habit in the daily ever-present moments of your life; and where you need it the most.
A-HA MOMENTS: Because we are the culmination of every conscious or unconscious choice; every thought, every action, every feeling; we need self-discipline to thrive at the highest level; to optimize balance and to propel ourselves along a path of our choosing; where we can feel certain and fulfilled in our choices; and in our destiny; and because self-discipline is what we must teach our children, we must first be this, and in all areas of our life.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: Your self-discipline is what sets you apart from others; it is what makes the difference between getting something finished and doing remarkable work that is beyond what you thought was possible. Self-discipline at this level requires conscious decision-making and the resolve to see all of your goals and dreams realized.
If you wish to have the habit of self-discipline ever-present in your life in a way that you have never felt it before, then I invite you to listen on; and to contemplate the 3 secrets that make self-discipline possible as a consistent optimal life habit that affirms your ideal self. Let these 3 secrets reveal the true purpose of self-discipline and its ever relevant place in your life... and in your heart.
You initially learn self-discipline in childhood. You model the behaviours that you found to be honourable in your caregivers; and this, in addition to what they taught and practised themselves, surmount to what life practices, work ethic, values, and daily habits have become what you do.
Self-discipline encourages within you a sense of responsibility, accountability, high morals and standards, and the ability to accomplish tasks successfully because you have learned the practice of resolve; of deepening your commitment and going within to draw from that discipline in order to produce what is deeply desired. Your achievements and successes continue to build an ever growing confidence, as they feed and nourish you with a sense of achievement and pride that is self-realized.
Self-discipline is mobilized out of conscious habit. You dedicate time and effort towards that which you decide as 'something' you wish to become more competent or skilled at; to have or become that which is important to you. You utilize self-discipline because it is the framework from which you mobilize yourself into decision and action. This could be in regards to a vocation; a creative talent that you are developing, a goal you desire to achieve, a new life practice or lifestyle that you believe in; or a new way of thinking and approaching life that inspires you based on your desire to become more.
By being self-responsible, you understand what it means to uphold commitment, desire, and resilience; even when at times this is not easy. You deepen your resolve - your determination - each time you hold desire and rooted commitment to what is wanted with confidence and drive; and where you hold continued belief and knowing that to fail is not a possibility.
Your positive habits become well equipped life skills that include a requirement of setting the bar high and yet within enough of a reach so that you can continue to be challenged to grow, to become a better version of yourself, and to see the results of the effort that you make - to accomplish, to learn, to transform, because this is your inherent nature. You thrive in self-discipline and the desire to live as your best self.
Self-discipline is a measure of your level of commitment to yourself.
This is why it is so important for you as a parent to teach your children excellent habits and life practices and of course to emulate these in the way that you live. Some examples of this include teaching the importance of completing homework as a priority each day, being helpful and contributing to household chores, and learning important life values such as being kind, respectful and of help to others. When you practice self-discipline, you live with the important and necessary life skills that support you being accountable to your deepest desires. Self-discipline is how you curate the means of having what you want. The secrets and best practices that sustain you in the moments in which you are challenged, and presented with the unexpected; are the habits of self-discipline.
Self-discipline is a life skill that defines your greatness; and allows you to succeed rather than falter. It is the mechanism that upholds you as you envision success, and as you become the ultimate version of yourself.
We can at different times in life, struggle with self-discipline, We may wish to give up certain habits such as to quit smoking, to adopt new habits; such as eat consistently healthy, to eat a plant-based diet; to modify some of our less than productive choices with choices that will serve our highest good; for example to watch less Netflix, to exercise consistently or to raise the bar in achieving an ever greater level of physical fitness. All of these requires that we revisit our well learned habits; that we make a greater commitment to our self; that we hold greater resolve for what is most important; and that we are clear and inclusive of what we want - and of our path to achieving this.
In most cases, self-discipline is a matter of developing the correct mindset and the practical habits that will elevate your existing level of commitment and discipline so that you can reap the highest rewards and benefits; to have all of what you want, and to do so as you continue to grow confidence in your self and your abilities. Self-discipline therefore becomes a way of being that abounds, influencing how you choose to live; and it is the driving force each time you hold yourself accountable to right action and as you follow through on what is most wanted.
Self-discipline is a daily success habit that affects positive change and new outcomes in all areas of your life; serving you at the highest level of your soul consciousness.
How can you become more self-disciplined in order to accomplish and achieve all that is most important to you? How does self-discipline become a necessary asset, a consistent behaviour, a success mindset, and a personal belief that you uphold with ease?
The need for self-discipline comes out of a yearning for more - a desire for improving yourself, upping your game, and wanting more out of life because you are willing to be consistent in your effort - and the right effort.
Begin here. These three secrets represent the necessary strategy to help you develop self-discipline in a new way that will be sustainable as a life skill and a way of being that you can feel proud of. Let self-discipline become a tenable daily life practice, and an inspired personality trait that you can rely on to get things done, to be focused and clear about what you want; and to have the resolve for staying the course - especially when your goals are large and lofty! Pay attention to how your efforts in being disciplined pays off; which helps greatly in bolstering your confidence and success.
I want to share with you these three secrets of self-discipline because when you have these in place; you live with a high level of self-discipline - at all times; and it becomes a way of being that is second nature for you. Using these three secrets is how you mobilize self-discipline most effectively. Most of us, look to enlist our self-discipline in moments when we need an extra push to get something done; or to keep the fires stoked as we work relentlessly towards a larger, lofty goal; but I'm talking about living with an exceptional level of self-discipline that is your 'go to'; that is accessible in every moment because this is what will take you to a new level - of epic success, happiness, fulfillment and purpose - lived daily.
The First Secret: Self-Discipline is Fuelled By Desire. Many people aim to cultivate self-discipline on demand but the truth is, it is your deepest desire of something that will fuel and sustain your discipline as you seek it out and live what is wanted most. Sincere and heartfelt desire fuels impassioned action and the impetus to have what you deem to be 'most' important. The greater the desire for what is wanted, the easier it will be to practice self-discipline, naturally. Consistent self-discipline is what helps you to accomplish and complete tasks and objectives; it helps you to stay on track, and to be resilient as you deal with challenges. But herein is something further, that is not often talked about; it is the self-discipline of how you choose to think about something and your belief in the attainment of it, that holds impact and meaning when your self-discipline includes the most vital means of addressing how you think about what you want. Self-discipline aligned with your core values and belief system is what reinforces the confidence and credence that you hold in yourself, in your abilities, and in knowing that you are capable and deserving of having what you want through what direct means you will take. (e.g. will, deliberate action, and consistent effort to achieve results of what is wanted.)
Your Success Strategy for this First Secret: Here is what you need to know to instill self-discipline as a daily life habit that is of second nature. To remind yourself of the ultimate 'end game' that you want. (i.e. that is, the rewards and achievements that are most desired.) Visualize yourself in the attainment of this desire. Positive outcomes are the result of using your innate discipline, practised as a daily habit together with the success imagery of holding in your mind the ideal that is most wanted. Desire is fuelled by the intense focus on the having of what you want. The best way to do this is to use visualization and the intense focus on what the desired outcome feels like, looks like, is like. As long as you hold strong desire and meaning for why something is important; and as you feel the desire of what is wanted using your senses to create the experience in the present for an aspect of your life that you wish to change or a goal that you wish to accomplish, it will be natural (and easier) to enlist your self-discipline. (This is helpful to keep in mind when you are working on long-term goals where you need to be consistent in your efforts and progress for an extended period of time.) What you desire drives your commitment to being self-disciplined. Remember: What you want must be more important than not having it. This is how self-discipline becomes the catalyst for the success that you seek.
The Second Secret: Plan Your Strategy. Just as you would set up a schedule for completing important tasks, and for ensuring that you are taking the right actions each day towards attaining your goal; planning your strategy is how you sustain self-discipline. (For example, what are the daily steps that will keep you on task, what self-talk and reassurance will you rely on, and what will sustain your motivation, etc). Know what strategies you need to implement in advance - for where you may lose momentum, or should you feel discouraged; where you may be tempted to give in or give up; and plan for how you will succeed using self-discipline in those moments. An example of this is deciding in advance your strategy when attending a dinner party when you have a strict regime for how you are eating. Discipline is not necessarily doing what is difficult or less enjoyable. Discipline is not punishment nor the lack of something. Rather, self-discipline is implementing the important decisions and best practices that will help you to accomplish what you want; without being thwarted in your efforts because you have a plan in place and you are following this regardless of what others may say or do.
- Your Success Strategy Question for this Second Secret: When you plan for the self-disciplined habits that you want to make a regular part of your life, it will be easier to follow your plan, knowing how important discipline is in helping you accomplish what is wanted. In the moments when you are faced with a decision, ask yourself, "What strategy do I need to follow right now that will best support my goal of... ?" (its important also that you name this success or goal inwardly or aloud to re-ignite your desire). And some further relevant and helpful questions to keep you on track - and disciplined: How will I use this strategy to help me stay motivated and on point? How will I plan my day to include self-discipline as a best practice, as self-regulation, and as an ongoing and ever-present way of living my best life?
The Third Secret of Self-Discipline: Follow Through. This can be the most challenging aspect of self-discipline, and yet when you continue to implement this secret, you've tapped into how to execute what is needed without excuses, deliberation, inaction, and whatever else may steer you off course. Your follow through each and every time will on its own, support the momentum that will help see you through to what is most wanted. Think of it like this: You already are disciplined because you have the commitment to accomplish your goals and you have already begun a path towards this. All that you need to do is listen to the inner guiding wisdom of what many refer to as their inner voice or highest self; and follow through with the action steps that will take you from where you are to your end goal. You can hire someone to help you with "follow through", and many do so because it can be a helpful source of enforcement towards taking the right steps towards your ultimate success. Yet, remember that no one is likely with you 24-7 - no one; that you must build the resolve first in your mind with desire, and then as a real present moment experience felt throughout your being using visualization (the first secret of self-discipline), and holding fiercely the end result of what is wanted together with the feelings of having this.
Together with the plan for your strategy to complete your goal successfully, this third secret is the action steps that take you to the finish line. A great way to be the voice of wisdom for yourself, is by asking inward of your highest self (which is the voice of your heart centre - your soul consciousness - and as you follow what inward dwelling answer you receive. At times there will be an answer that may surprise you. Sometimes the best action in a particular moment is not to do anything, especially if the action that you are deliberating is going to self-sabotage your results. Instead, remind yourself of your commitment to your goals; and to yourself, by focusing on the feeling of this goal - achieved. This is important because your feelings evoke action, and therefore the choices that you ultimately make. When you imagine your goal completed (something that we spoke about in the first secret); and accomplished in the best possible way, this allows you to feel successful now. This and all other inspiring and mobilizing feelings that come with imagining what is most important and desired to you, now here in your life, is what propels you. Your self-enforced discipline to see your goals through to completion in made possible by your visualization and as you experience the feelings of this success, now in the present moment and throughout your body. Let the follow through be your inner wisdom; the voice that instructs you to do what is needed; and allow yourself to follow without argument.
As you practice the positive mindset of what is wanted by visualizing yourself in the having of this end goal, you will always be guided to do the right thing.
- Guidance for this Success Strategy: Let your practice of self-discipline be the result of you parenting yourself. This is the actionable strategy that becomes a new way of being for you. Think of this strategy as you in constant conversation with yourself; holding yourself accountable to what is needed, reminding yourself what you need to do and listening to the inner voice of resolve that will guide you to success. That voice of reason may be similar to that of a coach; a mentor, a parent, or a teacher. This inner voice is essentially you parenting and coaching yourself to do the right thing; and then following this - no questions asked. Be the role of parent or coach for yourself, as you provide the messaging and game plan using your inner voice of rational discipline - self-discipline.
- No different than what your caregivers or teachers would have done to ensure that you were successful; as an adult, you need to be the parent and mentor for yourself; to demand your best; to push yourself to do what is needed; to be encouraging and supportive; and yet to enforce a path that has no alternatives, except success. Use your inner voice as the voice of reason and power that rises up from within you. Follow through with question on what you need to do in all moments (even when it would be easier and within your comfort zone to rest on your laurels, even though this is not something that will help you become more, better, excellent).
- Follow through is easier when you remind yourself of the positive benefit to doing the work, to having the results you want because of your resolve and determination. You can see how all three secrets are used interchangeably and consistently to support your self-discipline. Your mindset must be focused entirely in the having of what is wanted; your resolve strong and 'on purpose'. Remind yourself of the importance of follow through; of making different choices even when you would rather do what you have always done. Follow through is taking the positive steps - the action - that sees you through to what you desire most. It is the culmination of each and every action step along a path that results in the accomplishment of what you desire. When you have come away from your plan for self-discipline, simply notice. Be attentive to how you feel. It will never feel as good as when you are on task working towards your most important goals and ideals. Remember that it is less important if you have a temporary setback and have come away from your goal (and your practice of self-discipline) but that you return to these - with vigour, enthusiasm, and a reboot to your commitment, follow through (and discipline) in the very next moment. The positive feeling of returning to self-discipline is empowering and it reminds you of how much better life is when you honour what is needed and necessary to live honourably and on purpose.
Each of these three secrets and their respective strategies used repeatedly is the solution for what will build and reinforce the highest level of self-discipline. This self-discipline as an ongoing life practice, and a learned success habit and personality trait; is a key approach for attaining all that is wanted in your life. I'm going to suggest that with a current goal in mind, that you practice your new habit of self-discipline using these three secrets and strategies for a minimum period of three months. The true science of what it takes to make a new habit a regular behaviour is on average 66 days (but can be anywhere between 18 and 254 days as Phillippa Lally, a health psychology researcher at University College London and her team, published in the European Journal of Social Psychology). I'm suggesting three months of living with your newly formulated level of self-discipline, which by the way you can use to help you with everything; and not just achieving goals; and making positive changes to how you live life. Three months is still a relatively short amount of time when you consider the benefit to you for the rest of your life.
And finally, I want you to be successful in all of the goals that you have determined are most important and valuable based on your heartfelt desires. In addition to this episode of The WISDOM podcast, I'd like to offer you support as you take on honing a new and high level of self-discipline. Join me in my Facebook group: Your Best Life.... NOW! Receive support and guidance from me and others who are upping their game and self-discipline practice to live their best life - now!
Namaste!
For upping your game, please have a look at these additional resources to support a success mindset of ultimate self-discipline. If you would like my help and to work together on this, please reach out to me. Namaste!! xo
The Secret to Achieving All Goals
The Psychology of Being True to Your Word
How Life Mirrors Your Inner Existence
How to Live in the Present Moment: The 3 Success Habits You Need to Know
Work with Me: dorothyratusny.com
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Ludvig Cimbrelius - Album: Illuviation (dreamsketches) - To See /Livet Kallar Mej / It is Never To Late
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!

Sunday Nov 24, 2019
Sunday Nov 24, 2019
Teach Your Children To Love and Value Themselves
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 9
with Dorothy Ratusny
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-1:31 | Your FREE 'Downloadable Wisdom Tools' For This Episode: 1:33-2:45 | Is This You? - A Woman Walks Up To A Mirror... 2:50 | Feedback From Listeners on This Episode: 3:55 | Two Positive Takeaways From This Episode: 4:32 | Our Caregivers Have One Sacred Opportunity to Build Self-Esteem: 5:43 | The Real Life Client Story of Janet: 6:35 | Podcast Outro: 18:21
A woman walks up to a mirror, her eyes scowling as she looks critically for what is 'wrong'; for what she doesn't like about herself. Her thoughts are self-effacing and hurtful. No one can hear the harsh words that she tells herself. The woman doesn't see all of her natural beauty, all of what makes her uniquely perfect. She no longer remembers a time when she didn't question her appearance or anything that allowed her to feel good about herself. This woman is many women; and any person who has grown up with the constant messaging that they are not 'okay'; that there is something wrong with who they innately are. This is how we come to learn that we are not enough even though this could not be further from the truth.
On a pre-release of this episode, I received many comments from listeners who observed how the story of my client Janet resonated with them and their life experiences. You'll find their feedback and comments here as I believe its important to share the messages that so many of us suffered disparaging feedback and critical words even if our caregivers did not intent to negatively affect our self-esteem and worth.
In this episode, my hope is twofold: first, that if you can relate to the story of Janet, that it helps you break the patterns of critical and hurtful self-talk that has caused you to diminish your abilities and inherent potential; so that you may change what you say and believe. Second, that as a parent, you are now more aware of what messages you are sending to your child and what you are teaching by what your child or children witness of you.
As you listen to this episode, I hope that you will be helped by the practical teachings, strategies and guidance for how you can reclaim what has always been yours; that is, your personal sense of pride in who you are; your invincibility and that you are uniquely perfect as you are, even as you may be working on aspects of yourself to become more.
"OMG sad to realize I’m perpetuating some of my mother’s beliefs onto my own daughter. I intend to change this immediately 😐" Claire
"Wow this was so good I will have to re-listen. It brought up so many feelings and emotions realizations of relationships structures." Tina Farmington Hills, USA
"Thank you for sharing this! I can relate to Janet and it has been so hard to accept myself after all of these years. We need to be kind to our children and break this cycle!" Tracy W Pennsylvania, USA
"It's never 'okay' to accept hurtful comments and words from our loved ones. "
- dorothy ratusny
Our caregivers have but one sacred opportunity to help us nurture and develop healthy self esteem; and this occurs during the earliest part of our life – fundamentally in the first five years as we are learning and taking in so much information about how to navigate successfully in our environment and within the social mores and customs of our culture and the world at large. We need unconditional love and nurturing to develop trust in our self and our abilities and to thrive in the world. Feeling secure and safe helps build our confidence to be self-reliant and successful, and to know that we are lovable and 'good enough'.
For all of Janet's life she could remember how her sisters were ungrateful, uncaring and selfish. They could also be at times, aggressively mean and vengeful. Janet did her best to stay out of the conflict and pettiness that her siblings engaged in, but the truth was, she had also received unkind and hurtful words from both parents throughout most of her childhood. Janet's father would often tease her about her weight, saying, "You could be pretty except you are so big." When Janet would ask to wear clothes similar to her older sister, her Mother would say, "you can't possibly wear the same pretty clothes, your body is too big and you won't look good."
It may not surprise you to learn that Janet struggled with her weight, all of her adult life. As a child she weighed a normal and healthy weight for her height, although she never thought of her weight as normal since she was constantly teased about being 'big'. In reality, my client Janet happens to be of 'model' height. She stands over six feet and her height naturally dictates the density and structure of her bones. This was often overlooked and unexplained in the numbers that were so harshly judged by the scale.
We can cultivate an eating disorder and body image issues in most anyone if we begin at an early age to tease and mock them about how unappealing or unattractive they look. The truth is that Janet could easily have been a model for her height and features are stunning. Unfortunately, years of self-loathing and ridicule were among the learned habits that Janet adopted rather than a confidence and love of herself and of her unique physical attributes. As such, the negative and critical self-talk permeated into other areas of her life and Janet often felt tormented rather than loved and appreciated. It was a life in which her self-esteem and worth were repeatedly diminished based on being judged on her appearance.
We need to remind ourselves and teach our children that beauty is far beyond what we see at the surface. Janet is incredibly intelligent and may have chosen any career path. For the past three decades, she worked in financial securities where she headed a team that liked and respected her. Before Janet and I began working together it would be unheard of for her to speak her mind to her boss or her siblings, especially when unrealistic demands were made of her.
Part of the journey of reclaiming herself, of learning to like and also love who she was included Janet becoming more comfortable with asserting boundaries; saying 'no' to unreasonable or demanding requests, both at work but also to the loved ones who still tormented her with their critical comments and teasing.
If you teach your children that it is acceptable to expect much of them; if you are overly critical rather than approving and accepting with unconditional love; then you will raise children who seek love and approval of others rather than from within. If you demand of your children that they model behaviours, life choices, and beliefs based on what you approve of, you give them an impossible task that they can never be wholly successful at.
If you mistreat or diminish your child's sense of worth, if you place pressure on your children for having certain standards of intelligence, beauty, or competency in a specific skill or talent; and if you judge them as somehow different or "less than" what you would deem as 'good enough', you can create much damage.
Even with the many successes in her life, Janet still had a difficult time validating her worth and feeling self-adequate and competent. She still continues to overachieve at work doing far more than is expected of her, although she now appreciates that this is by choice because she enjoys her career, has an impeccable work ethic (that she is proud of), and her high achieving contributes to her self-confidence.
As an adult, Janet's sisters continued to make demands on her using guilt tactics and hurtful words, and were never satisfied with what she did for them. This was a cycle of emotional and verbal abuse that continued until Janet and I began to deconstruct how these constant and unreasonable demands of her reinforced her core belief that she was not good enough. This early and well ingrained core belief began a pattern in which Janet sought approval, acceptance, and love from her family by going above and beyond in acts of kindness and generosity.
"If you are in a position of power and authority, and if you abuse this power when others look to you for love and validation, you may create a co-dependency whereby others base some or much of their esteem and worth on your approval." - dorothy ratusny
You would never want your children to grow up looking to others in order to feel worthy and good enough. You can encourage achievement but then allow your child to decide what their achievements will be. If you judge your children as somehow "less than" or "not good enough" based on unreasonable standards, you can create much damage.
I also work with adult clients who have experienced the heartache of being criticized and ridiculed by those who ought to have loved and protected them. From their stories, I can reinforce how important it is to teach your children how to see and know their value and worth, their beauty, their intelligence, and their ability to be successful as a monumental aspect of helping them to develop their self-esteem and for having belief in their abilities. Teach your children how to value themselves highly by being demonstrative and encouraging of your child's greatness. Then you will see that your child is motivated to succeed in large part because they believe in their abilities and their potential.
For parents who themselves struggle with the outward and often performance-based societal standard of 'success' and if they allow external influences to supersede the innate beauty and worth of their child, please let me help. Please consider the standards that you are choosing to set for your child because of what you believe in. And yes, it is true. You likely adopted your beliefs from what you heard, read, saw and were taught by your caregivers.
You encourage authentic happiness and self-love in your children by encouraging them to appreciate their unique talents, abilities and interests and by reinforcing your child's value and self-worth.
Janet learned through our work together, to enforce healthy boundaries for herself; to be strong willed and to say "no" when she experienced an unreasonable demand or the suggestion of guilt for not doing something for her sisters. She began to focus on her health, working with a personal trainer and nutritionist so that she could take control of her previous self-sabotaging behaviours; to no longer eat junk food and be unhealthy because she began to see her worth and her ability to make good choices for herself as valuable and important for growing her self-esteem and for self-care and self-love.
You can stand your ground to others politely, firmly and perhaps with an injection of humour as you speak your truth. You can also begin to see your worth as something that is not based on whether you are skinny, smart enough, or beautiful by societal standards; but rather to witness and appreciate yourself first - as you are - with acceptance, self approval and loving kindness. You can honour a path that you determine is right and best for who you are based on liking and loving your self wholly and completely because ultimately - you are more than enough. You may just need to keep reminding yourself of this - first and always.
*The name of my client and others have been changed to maintain confidentiality. Additional details or circumstances may also have been altered in order to ensure their utmost privacy.
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell- Illuviation
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau for your excellent work!

Sunday Nov 03, 2019
Becoming A More Confident YOU | The WISDOM podcast | Season 1 Episode 6
Sunday Nov 03, 2019
Sunday Nov 03, 2019
Becoming A More Confident YOU
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 6
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:12 | Free Bonus Curated Content to Download for this Episode! 2:13 | What Makes A Person Confident? 3:55 | The Definition of Confidence: 5:54 | The Three Most Effective Ways to Build Self-Confidence: 8:36 | The Rationale for These Three Best Practices 12:30 | Growing Your Confidence: 16:54 | BONUS Practice #1: 17:34 | BONUS Practice #2: 22:06
Learn how to retrain your brain with 3 confidence-hacking strategies that will supercharge your self esteem.
Implement simple habits to foster a daily practice that nourishes you.
If you’ve always looked to successful and confident people and wondered what their secret is, this episode is for you.
In this episode we dive into what makes a person confident and how you can grow your confidence to extreme levels by choice because confidence grows with your affirmative words of yourself.
What makes a person confident?
How can you raise your confidence levels?
How can you hack your confidence to help you live the life you want?
Learn 3 simple strategies to retrain your mind using the techniques of affirmative language.
As you develop a daily practice using these 3 strategies, you begin to feel encouraged by your words and as you take the steps towards completing what is most meaningful to you ~ and which nourishes your inner being.
Confidence is a person’s belief that a chosen course of action is the right choice and that they can properly perform that action.
As a personality trait, confidence is sometimes referred to as self-confidence.
This term describes the attitudes and beliefs someone holds regarding their abilities and strengths.
How do you define confidence? What does it mean to you?
Use the strategies here in these best practices to help mobilize you towards building a more confident you as a personality trait and as belief in your ability to make the right choices for yourself and to be successful in your actions.
ONE: The first practice of self-confidence is the importance of mindfulness of what you say to yourself at all times.
What you tell yourself, you believe.
Be far more attentive and discerning to your inner dialogue.
TWO: Choose deliberately the words that you speak both inwardly and aloud (and what images you hold in your mind).
Begin to define the beliefs that you want to hold regardless of whether you believe in them fully yet.
Confidence grows with encouragement and kindness. You must be willing to see your goodness, and to acknowledge what makes you uniquely different, special, and talented. (Sometimes this may be precisely what we have been teased or judged harshly for).
How you are different from others is often a strength.
THREE: Confidence grows when you take action, when you challenge yourself in new situations and as you learn and improve.
Your encouraging words spoken inward and aloud remind you of your strengths and positive traits is how you feel encouraged to try new things, to better yourself further and to take more positive action which in turn builds confidence and competency.
When you challenge yourself to grow and become better through positive action, you grow confidence and belief in yourself.
These 3 practices also require your ongoing effort as you are teaching yourself how to think differently.
It will be helpful if you can enjoy nurturing these practices as you grow confidence and belief in yourself and as you nurture esteem and worth.
Self esteem and self confidence transcend every thought, every action, and all of how you feel. If you would like my help to build and redefine your confidence, please reach out to me. Your confidence is so valuable for what you believe is possible for yourself and your life.
As a challenge, if you would like more practice in being a more confident version of yourself, you can make a pact to become the very best version of who you are.
Set out to change one thing about yourself that you have been wanting to improve. Let yourself gather what information you need to make this change. Seek out what professional help, books, courses, and any other support that will allow you to be successful at this. The happier you are with who you are, and how you are choosing to be, the more your confidence grows. Choose something to change that you feel inspired by. As you begin to make changes to one aspect of your life, you will likely notice other desired changes being easier to make.
Make an effort to change even if the change you want takes time; doing so will be so rewarding and it will boost your confidence in your ability to make other changes.
Make it a priority to become the very best version of you; and to begin this now.
As a special offering of love and something that will also help immensely each time you experience it, enjoy the guided visualization 'I AM' that I've curated specifically for becoming more confident and for believing in yourself. It will help you visualize how you want to be - now, and to live as this even whilst you are manifesting and growing your confidence.
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' by Illuvia www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Kalimba'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau

Sunday Oct 20, 2019
Sunday Oct 20, 2019
If You Doubt Your Greatness, Do You Have The Imposter Syndrome?
The WISDOM Podcast Season 1 Episode 4
~ Our beliefs about our self and our abilities are established very early in life.
The words and messages that we repeatedly heard in childhood become what we think and believe. ~
Our caregivers have but one precious opportunity to help us nurture and develop healthy self-esteem and this occurs during the earliest part of our life. –
Fundamentally we learn our core beliefs in the first five years of life ~ much of which as we take in so much information about how to navigate successfully in our environment and within the social mores and customs of the world at large.
We need unconditional love and nurturing to develop trust in our self and our abilities and to thrive in the world.
Feeling secure and safe helps build our confidence to be self-reliant and successful ~ and to know that we are *lovable* and *good enough.*
---
Self-critical thoughts may cause us to doubt our abilities, to experience anxiety and to self-sabotage our inherent potential. These thoughts and beliefs originate as the well rehearsed messages from childhood that continue to haunt us and overtake our rational mind.
It takes so little to convince an innocent child that they are undeserving or not good enough.
Critical and berating words spoken by others (and our self) become the repetitive and discouraging ‘negative’ inner dialogue that causes self-doubt and a lack of belief (usually experienced as anxiety, fear, and a lack of confidence).
---
Though the imposter phenomenon isn’t an official diagnosis listed in the DSM-V, Psychologists and others acknowledge that it is a very real and specific form of *intellectual self-doubt*.
By definition, most people with imposter feelings suffer in silence.
Most people don’t talk about out of fear that they will be found out. –
*Source: American Psychological Association*
---
I see this often in my work with clients and it is through self-honesty and the willingness to hold up a metaphorical mirror to one’s self ~ to decide and commit to the changes that are needed that one no longer feels like an imposter.
On a spiritual level, you feel like a fraud or imposter because you know that you are not living your life in a way that is congruent to your highest self and in the most honorable way that you could.
It isn’t entirely about believing in one’s successes and ability without stepping up and into one’s truth.
That is living as the highest and best version of yourself as much as possible, that allows you to feel confident, worthy, and to own your successes completely.
If you find this notion insightful, and it is something that holds true for you, consider the moments in which you live authentic and of your highest self, when you are living your truth and when you are being your beautiful, loving, generous self.
Notice if in these same moments you feel certain, confident, and powerful and in which you own your abilities and successes in the world. Your feelings of being an imposter may also be the precipice for seeking to live your truth and for igniting your spiritual path in the direction of your highest self.
The compelling questions for so many people who identify with this phenomena is:
"HOW DO I FIX THIS?"
and...
How can I begin to believe that the good things that happen to me, including my successes and accomplishments, are because I am deserving, capable, and worthy of success?
DO YOU HAVE IMPOSTER SYNDROME?
(Featured Inside The JUNO app)
In therapy, I help clients identify the incorrect core beliefs that they have been taught to believe from a much earlier age. This is a powerful means of eradicating the underlying and often indiscernible root cause of self-doubt and the belief that one is a fraud (aka: an imposter). This process is intimate and personal, since each individual has their own set of both positive and problematic core beliefs. Identifying your problematic core beliefs is the first step in changing, and forming what are called new and accurate beliefs.
I then help clients to challenge and rewrite their problematic core beliefs with new statements that they know to be true. For some, this is relatively easy since when they discover the core belief that underlies their daily thought patterns, they realize instantly how incorrect it is. For others who believe their damaging core belief to be true – it is because they have lived it for some time; having found (whether real or imagined) what they believe is proof for their damaging core belief.
In either instance, there is a process for challenging problematic and untrue core beliefs that works extremely well in helping to eradicate an individual’s untrue belief and thus changing their perspective and their thoughts of themselves forever.
DO YOU HAVE IMPOSTER SYNDROME? TAKE THE QUIZ NOW
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
~ Namaste 💗
*If you would like any assistance in rewriting any of the problematic core beliefs that you have identified in yourself, please reach out. Let me help.
Book a Discovery Session here
Let's work together! Book a Therapy session here...
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Sunday Oct 06, 2019
Sunday Oct 06, 2019
The POWER of Emotional Connection In Your Love Relationship
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 2
:: timestamps ::
Podcast Intro: 0 - 1:40 | Two Important 'Takeaways' From This Episode: 2:12 | The Four Ways to Build Emotional Connection and Intimacy: 4:52 | The Definition of Emotional Intimacy and Connection: 9:55 | How Emotional Connection Happens: 13:41 | One Assumption You Might Have About Love: 14:11 | The Two Questions to Ask Yourself Which Determine Whether You Have Emotional Connection In Your Love Relationship: 16:35 | Emotional Connection is Not The Same As Sexual Chemistry: 18:42 | My Clients' Story - 'Meghan and Danny': 22:21 | Naiken Reflective practice tool for Cultivating Awareness and Emotional Connection: 36:15 | Podcast Outro: 37:59 💗
In this episode of The WISDOM podcast, I share with you the four ways that emotional connection and intimacy are built, how to rebuild connection and intimacy and the real life story of my client Meghan* who thought that the connection and intimacy that she felt was mutual, until she got to know her partner Danny* far better.
One of the most important elements in determining the longevity of a mutually loving and healthy relationship is the degree to which both members of a couple feel emotional intimacy and connection.
In this episode, we dive into what is most needed and what holds a love relationship together through life's challenging moments, allowing a couple to feel an intimate and special closeness, the desire to remain faithful and committed to one another, and to continue to learn about each other. This is a depth of emotional intimacy and connection that is cultivated and sustained throughout the course of the relationship.
How You Build Emotional Connection and Intimacy:
- Authenticity: be honest and truthful about who you are; be willing to reveal your personality, including your 'likes' and 'dislikes', what you think about and believe in, and the values that you hold.
- Vulnerability: Your willingness to reveal personal and intimate aspects of yourself (as you feel safe to do so) that you would not likely share with the rest of the world; admit your faults and wrong doings and be willing to apologize and make things right when you have hurt someone (including your partner).
- Mutual Respect: Be willing to uphold and maintain respect and kindness towards your partner even when you both may be in the throws of an argument (because you can destroy so much of the closeness and vulnerability that comes from opening yourself and sharing deeply when you are not respectful nor kind; or if you are at times - purposefully hurtful or vindictive).
- Unconditional Love: be love; purely, completely, and without conditions or expectations.
"Emotional connection in a love relationship is built on the intimate sharing of who you are, the personal details of your life (past and present), your future dreams and aspirations and who you still desire to be.
Connection and intimacy is cultivated out of your discerned liking (and love) of someone, your genuine interest and desire to learn and know more about the other person and to willingly reveal your whole self - with complete honesty and openness." - dorothy zennuriye juno
"One critical element required by both members of a couple when building emotional connection is complete honesty."
- dorothy zennuriye juno
It is in being vulnerable and wholly honest with yourself first, that allows you to become more aware of what you may be in denial or avoidance of.
The deepest aspects of your self that you are able to reveal to your partner are often the aspects that need to be healed from your past.
In the early stages of dating, when you like someone and want to appear favourable in their eyes, it is natural that you want to show them the parts of your self that you want them to see.
The (deeper) emotional connection that you establish is built on your mutual ability to be vulnerable, to reveal all of your self even in moments when you are not at your best; and to consistently offer unconditional love, respect and kindness to your partner.
You must speak up if their behaviour is undesirable or unkind but you can do so with love, respectfully.
This allows you to feel safe, to be secure in the commitment of your relationship and to strengthen your belief in your worthiness of being loved.
"Emotional connection is established and deepened by your ability to trust in another wholeheartedly and to feel safe and secure that you will be accepted unconditionally and not judged for who you are."
- dorothy zennuriye juno
"Our emotions serve as a strong indicator and a launching point for all of the choices we make since we are most influenced by how we feel.
The more information we acquire about someone that is pleasing to us (for example, as they present to us as sharing similar values, beliefs and life goals), the more appealing we find them as a potential life mate, and the greater our desire and attraction towards them."
'Emotional connection and support is expressed most readily through loving words, understanding, patience and thoughtfulness.'
And a loving end note: Regardless of how long you have been in relationship with someone, the emotional connection must continue to be nurtured and coveted as sacred.
Sexual intimacy and physical affection can definitely help to keep an emotional connection strong; but it is also important that a couple be intimate in their sharing of thoughts and feelings; in working together on their life plans and goals; and in who each is becoming.
Get the Naiken Self-Reflective Wisdom Tool
A powerful writing exercise for reflection and re-connection
A special thanks to my Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau radioplato
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: 'To See' by Ludvig Cimbrelius
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste 💗