Episodes
Sunday Feb 07, 2021
What Therapy Can Do For You | The WISDOM podcast | S2 E44
Sunday Feb 07, 2021
Sunday Feb 07, 2021
What Therapy Can Do For You.
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 44
with Dorothy Ratusny
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Theme Intro: 0-2:02 | My Introduction and What Therapy Can Do For You: 💜 2:03 | My Client's Diagnosis of Bipolar: 3:30 | Therapy is Far More Than Talking About the Past: 4:40 | The Two Positive Outcomes of Therapy That We Will Always Arrive at Together: 5:13 | Even After Healing Has Been Complete... 6:39 | Think of Therapy As a Healing Paradigm: 9:04 | Therapy Teaches You About Yourself: 11:05 | The Tools and Best Practices of Therapy: 18:17 | Three Reflective Questions PDF: 28:06 | Good Therapy Is... 23:22 | My Client: An Afterward: 28:56 | Podcast Theme Outro: 33:00 |
- If you have ever wondered what a session of therapy could do, this episode is for you. -
How does one identify, effectively all of the ways that therapy can be of help? How do we do this without embracing the experience itself when the idea of talking with someone can be overwhelming for some who don’t know where to begin, or how it can truly help?
TRUTH SERUM: In the past, the stigma associated with mental health has been a deterrent to seeking therapy.
What we are witnessing now, in this turbulent time of ongoing change and uncertainty, and with millions of people all over the world, experiencing more alone time and isolation than in any other time during their life, the effects of prolonged stress and the lack of support of mental health strategies and skills needed to live a healthy and productive and happy life; make it important to have the best therapeutic practices that are accessible by all people and in all languages and as much as possible - affordable and or free.
REAL CLIENT STORIES: When my client (who was), diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18, some 20 years later; is in a spell of low affect; when her cognitive ability is challenged; simple processing tasks are impeded.
It is more difficult for her to make decisions for example, and to feel motivated to complete daily tasks.
Her usual upbeat and larger than life personality becomes submersed in what is now a quiet and somber, depressed version of herself; one that lacks confidence, and is often tormented by thoughts of ‘being a burden’ to her loved ones.
Her words to me in these moments as well as when she is feeling ‘like herself’ and happy again, are substantial to us all. She reaffirms the simple truth: ‘Your mental health means everything’. She is right.
A-HA MOMENTS: Therapy is far more than talking about a traumatic childhood event and reliving its scaring impact.
In fact, the way that it helps best to deconstruct a past event or trauma is to examine it from an enlightened perspective; to understand the situation and the context in a way that allows for healing, forgiveness, acceptance, peace – and the idea that whatever happened, and for whatever was done “to you”, there are always going to be two positive outcomes that we will arrive at together.
(1) The first is a more accurate comprehension and understanding of the situation and the new insights and discoveries that arise out of a search for greater meaning and from that, the ability to come to acceptance. Acceptance does not mean agreement with what has happened, but rather the willingness to acknowledge what has already occurred.
This allows you to psychologically move into a place of action; of rendering what will be the action that you need to take whether as an approach to how you think or what physical actions will help support you best.
(2) Second, healing occurs when you hold acceptance of ‘what is’; emotional, psychological, cognitive, spiritual, and often physical in the relief of symptoms that were once related to the situation of the past and your perspective of it. This healing is the return to your wholeness that you; that we all - are inherently seeking.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: Even after the majority of healing has been completed, therapy can continue to be a place where one experiences growth in other areas of one’s life; and hence the ripple effect of what it means to learn and discover more (about one’s self, including the different choices one may choose with greater understanding and perspective).
As a side note, it’s not about making excuses for someone’s behavior, or disavowing your feelings and how you have been impacted by a situation or another.
Rather, examining the past from the vantage point of a different perspective that I or another therapist can help with, brings new insight and awareness that allows for healing and to alleviate some or all of the pain and suffering that one may have been holding onto.
Read the rest of this entry »Sunday Oct 20, 2019
Sunday Oct 20, 2019
"If You Doubt Your Greatness, Do You Have The Imposter Syndrome?" with Dorothy Ratusny
the Wisdom Podcast Season 1 Episode 4
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:10 | What Causes the Imposter Syndrome and What Is It? 2:11 | Are You Living Inauthentic? 6:58 | The Two Most Compelling Questions To Ask If You Have Feelings of Being An Imposter: 13:11 | The Four Most Common Negative Core Beliefs: 15:07 | How To Establish A New, Healthy Core Belief: 16:19 | The Five Best Strategies for Overcoming the Feeling of Being An Imposter: 19:11 | Check Out the Downloadable Quiz! 31:02
"Our beliefs about our self and our abilities are established very early in life. The words and messages that we repeatedly hear in childhood become what we believe as "truth." This includes any or all of the less than kind ways in which we may have learned to think about our self.
Our caregivers have but one sacred opportunity to help us nurture and develop healthy self esteem; and this occurs during the earliest part of our life – fundamentally in the first five years as we are learning and taking in so much information about how to navigate successfully in our environment and within the social mores and customs of our culture and the world at large. We need unconditional love and nurturing to develop trust in our self and our abilities and to thrive in the world. Feeling secure and safe helps build our confidence to be self-reliant and successful, and to know that we are lovable and 'good enough'.
Self-critical thoughts may cause us to doubt our abilities, to experience anxiety, and to self-sabotage our inherent potential. These thoughts and beliefs originate as the well rehearsed messages from childhood that continue to haunt us and overtake our rational mind. It takes so little to convince an innocent child that they are undeserving or not good enough.
Critical and berating words spoken by others become the repetitive and discouraging 'negative' inner dialogue that causes self-doubt and a lack of belief (usually experienced as anxiety, fear, and a lack of confidence).
Though the imposter phenomenon isn't an official diagnosis listed in the DSM, psychologists and others acknowledge that it is a very real and specific form of intellectual self-doubt. By definition, most people with imposter feelings suffer in silence, says Imes, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Georgia. "Most people don't talk about it. Part of the experience is that they're afraid they're going to be found out." - Source: American Psychological Association
I see this often in my work with clients; and it is through self-honesty and the willingness to hold up a metaphorical mirror to one's self; to decide and commit to the changes that are needed that one no longer feels like an imposter. On a spiritual level, we feel like a fraud or imposter because we know that we are not living our life in a way that is congruent to our highest self; and the most honourable way that we could be in the world. It isn't entirely about believing in one's successes and ability but in stepping up and into one's truth; that is living as the highest and best version of yourself as much as possible, that allows you to feel confident, worthy, and to own your successes completely.
If you find this notion insightful, and it is something that holds true for you, consider the moments in which you live authentic and of your highest self; when you are living your truth, and when you are being your beautiful, loving, generous self. Notice if in these same moments you feel certain, confident, and powerful and in which you own your abilities and successes in the world. Your feelings of being an imposter may also be the precipice for seeking to live your truth and for igniting your spiritual path in the direction of your highest self.
The compelling questions for so many people who identify with this phenomena is:
"HOW DO I FIX THIS?"
and...
How can I begin to believe that the good things that happen to me; including my successes and accomplishments, are because I am deserving, capable, and worthy of success?
DO YOU HAVE IMPOSTER SYNDROME? TAKE THE QUIZ NOW
In therapy, I help clients identify the incorrect core beliefs that they have been taught to believe from a much earlier age. This is a powerful means of eradicating the underlying and often indiscernible root cause of self-doubt and the belief that one is a fraud (aka: an imposter). This process is intimate and personal, since each individual has their own set of both positive and problematic core beliefs. Identifying your problematic core beliefs is the first step in changing, and forming what are called new and accurate beliefs.
I then help clients to challenge and rewrite their problematic core beliefs with new statements that they know to be true. For some, this is relatively easy since when they discover the core belief that underlies their daily thought patterns, they realize instantly how incorrect it is. For others who believe their damaging core belief to be true – it is because they have lived it for some time; having found (whether real or imagined) what they believe is proof for their damaging core belief.
In either instance, there is a process for challenging problematic and untrue core beliefs that works extremely well in helping to eradicate an individual’s untrue belief and thus changing their perspective and their thoughts of themselves forever.
DO YOU HAVE IMPOSTER SYNDROME? TAKE THE QUIZ NOW
Retrain Your Mind to Believe In Yourself: A Guided Meditation
If you would like any assistance in rewriting any of the problematic core beliefs that you have identified in yourself, please reach out, - and let me help. Book yourself a free 15-minute discovery session with me.
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Gray Havens'
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau for your excellent work as always!
WANT MORE?...
Here are some helpful resources on the imposter syndrome.
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-23/edition-5/feeling-fraud
https://qz.com/606727/is-imposter-syndrome-a-sign-of-greatness/
http://99u.com/articles/54774/how-to-beat-the-imposter-syndrome-feeling
https://startupbros.com/21-ways-overcome-impostor-syndrome/