Episodes
Sunday Dec 26, 2021
Sunday Dec 26, 2021
THE HOLIDAY EPISODE: Practical Wisdom for Living The Magic, Wonder, and True Meaning of the Holidays.
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 10
a little love, magic and wonder from Season One....
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:09 | Episode Intro & Your Thrive Guide to the Holidays: 2:11 | Do You Attempt to Recreate Magical Moments? 2:54 | 2 Questions to Engage Your Inner Wisdom for Joy and Happiness: 5:07 | Create Your Game Plan; aka Your Holiday Strategy: 7:31 | The Full Thrive Guide Formula: 3 Best Practices: 949 | 1. Be Love: 10:08 | 2. Bring Joy: 15:39 | | 3. Offer Peace: 22:22 | Episode Summary and My Wish For You✨: 27:07 | Podcast Outro: 27:54
The psychology behind our desire to recreate and re-live our most cherished memories of holidays past is to feel that same childlike joy, fascination, and wonder that was magical.
In this episode we dive into The Three Best Practices for cultivating the magic of the holidays in real time; and the strategy for how to do this most successfully.
This is your thrive guide for the holidays.
TRUTH SERUM: You decide that something is magical and beautiful because of how you choose to think about it. Let your memories of Christmases past be inspiration as you witness the magic and beauty of life all around you. We sometimes forget our ability to conjure magic in simple things.
A-HA MOMENTS: It matters that you find and feel joy in the real meaning of the holidays. Practice being love, bringing joy, and offering peace as you cultivate the present moment experiences of wonder, joy, and enchantment at the holidays.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: It is you that co-creates the magic; by choice. This episode offers an experience of high level consciousness and the best strategy for cultivating magic, wonder and love.
Do you aim to recreate the magical moments of holidays past?
Do you imagine yourself at a particular moment in time during childhood where everything was enchanting; surreal, and as if you were living in a fantasy?
We tend to go to moments of our childhood as they evoke imagination and powerful imagery that immediately places us back in that time of innocence, of wonder, and of belief in the magic of the holidays.
Do you think back to memories that evoke pure joy, laughter, and fun, so that you can feel those precise feelings now?
As a child, you may have anticipated what gifts were waiting for you under the tree on Christmas morning or what you might receive on every night of Hanukkah.
As an adult, I encourage you to decide how you will curate magic and wonder by design so that you can experience joy, anticipation, excitement, and of course love because you've opened your heart to it; and because of the actions that you've taken to feel magic through the acts of giving, of being grateful, of loving kindness and of nurturing your relationships with your loved ones.
In this episode we dive into the best strategy for curating the magic of the holidays; and for experiencing joy in the anticipation of new experiences and shared laughter and fun. I hope that you will want to continue using these Three Best Practices as 'the' strategy for how you live life!
Discover new ways to feel the magic and wonder of the holidays by opening your heart; and by being grateful for everything as it is now.
What can you say and do to bring joy and comfort to others through your kind words and actions?
Let's begin with a few questions. Right here is a perfect opportunity to engage your inner wisdom. Let whatever intuitive answers that rise up, be what you give your attention to.
Grab some paper and a pen because you are going to want to capture the first impressions and ideas that enter your mind.
These are important and will be worth exploring more as you decide what new actions and thoughts you will hold for what you wish to co-create.
What are your sources of joy? What allows you to feel happiness easily?
Write your answers. Point form. Dare to speak these aloud so that you can hear the enjoyment in your voice as you speak your words.
Next ask yourself: How will I feel love, joy and happiness throughout the holidays?
The key here is: how will you feel this for yourself. (For example, do you need to to be kind to yourself to feel love? Do you feel joy and happiness when you are doing something that you enjoy?)
Take a few moments here and consider this. Let whatever impressions and pictures that come to mind be helpful cues for you. Record your answers so that you can remember this inspiration and implement it.
Your visual prompts and ideas will help you create a game plan.
The notes that you are making right here, right now will help you decide the strategy of the next several days and weeks of the holidays. It may also give you new ideas for the best practices in which to live your life.
As much as we all love to feel enchantment, magic, and wonder; which is often cultivated by reminiscing about a past memory or experience that we associate with feelings of love and joy, I want you to decide how you will evoke these incredible feelings by choosing the specific actions and the attitude that will allow you to feel the way you want to feel throughout the holiday season.
And, and if you've already figured this out, yes indeed - this is about what you can do to evoke these feelings and not what you might wait for or hope that someone will do for you.
We often idealize a situation that we would like but without taking all of the steps that ensures that we may have this. This is how you manifest your reality.
If you haven't yet, please listen next to Episode 8 of the WISDOM Podcast which is all about how you manifest your desires.
In thinking about how you will decide to feel the magic, wonder and love at this time of year, my hope is that this becomes a plan that inspires you to choose how you want to feel and experience life; and to remember that above all else, you always have a choice; and that it is you that defines your magical moments, whether at the holidays or any time because of your ability to hold presence in the moments of your life and to look for and see the beauty, the magic, in most everything; and perhaps in all of life.
What makes the holidays enjoyable, less stressful and chaotic, more nourishing of love and self-care, is a rather simple yet ingenious formula - your thrive guide if you will, consisting of three effective principles or 'best practices'.
First: 'Be Love'. Practice giving love to yourself - first.
Honour what you believe in and what is right for you (especially since others have different value systems and beliefs relating to the holidays). Ensure that you have ample time for giving to yourself; for what is important to you, and what nourishes your soul. This will always be healthy practices that allow you to feel 'in-balance', supported, and uplifted. Giving to yourself first is not selfish.
The definition of selfish is to lack consideration for others; and to seek or focus on your own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
Giving to yourself is self-nourishing, and builds healthy self-worth. It is necessary for your well-being and positive mental state to care for and be loving towards yourself.
As you practice and nurture self-love, it is easier to be loving to others; to give to others of your time and care, because you have first been able to care for your needs.
The questions and visualization we did a moment ago was to reveal to you what you need to feel happiness, joy and the energy of love. Ensure that you take these ideas and implement them daily.
As the holidays approach and then as you become immersed in them, give to yourself as the first task of the day; even if in small ways. To acknowledge love unto yourself will have great payoffs. You will feel more 'in balance', happier, more easily able to navigate stress and challenges, and you will find it even easier to give love to others.
This first principle is also a best practice for how to live life.
Learn to take care of your needs on a regular (moment-by-moment) basis so that you can easily be at your best, and to be this with others. Consider that when you are agitated or in a low mood, it will be more difficult to wear a smile and engage with positivism.
From a positive mood state, it is far easier and less stressful to engage in conversation and to be 'on' for the moments when you are in settings that are challenging. If it helps, repeat the mantra: 'be love' or 'I am love'. It will remind you of your higher consciousness directives and it will help so much with a joyful, loving holiday experience.
How do you become better at the choices that will help you take better care of yourself and do what nourishes your soul?
How do you better assess your needs and give yourself more love when there doesn't seem to be enough time in a day for this?
Here are some best practices and the positive mindset that is needed to ensure that you take the best care of yourself because to do so is self-nourishing and self-love.
1. Self-care and self-love begin as a mindset. It's something that you must decide is important first in order for you to make this a priority in your life. In the questions that you have already answered about what are your sources of joy and happiness, use your answers to inspire a plan for how you will practice self-care, balance, and love directed unto yourself during a time of year in which you may feel more pressure and external demands from others, and especially if you are new to this practice.
This is why it's important to decide and map out in advance, what you are comfortable to do, and what you will decline.
Saying 'yes' to everything may be helpful for some, however if you are honouring your needs and if this includes a need to decline some activities, or to choose how you will participate in something because in doing so, it honours your beliefs, then following this practice of self-care and self-love will help greatly in taking care of yourself.
Discover how you can give to yourself in the ways that will sustain you and allow you to feel inherent joy; and how this is important and not selfish nor self-serving.
Second: 'Bring joy'. When you are inherently happy; when you recognize that authentic happiness is an experience that you choose; and based upon the positive feelings that you allow yourself to feel; that are inherently a part of you, you know that happiness is not the result of what others think, say, or do.
This means that at holiday gatherings, others may not always be at their best; and you as well may have hurt feelings from unresolved past situations.
Without needing anything or anyone to be responsible for your happiness, you can choose to bring joy; to show up at holiday functions and family gatherings in a positive mood state, and this allows you to spread joy; to observe how your innate happiness is like a feel good experience that is contagious.
One of the easiest ways to feel happiness instinctively is through gratitude and love. If you are being loving, you are also going to feel happiness. When you are thankful for what is in your life; for all of the good that you might take for granted, you will immediately elicit feelings of happiness from within.
Be happy and fully present with family and friends. Practice feeling gratitude and love for all that you have in your life; even as you continue to work on making aspects different or better.
The holidays are a time for many of us to come together for a short while; make this time joyful.
Consider how magical it was for you to feel joy and happiness as a child because of how others wanted so much for you to feel the magic of the holidays. Now, bring joy into the lives of others as you decide to be happy and positive and as you share of yourself fully.
"Important for the success of family gatherings at the holidays is the practice of building and nurturing your relationships throughout the year. Then, when you come together at the holidays or at any family gathering, you will have built rapport and closeness which then makes it more enjoyable and easy to be with loved ones." - dorothy ratusny
What would a healthier relationship look like? What are some simple steps that would improve your relationships? How would having better relationships with family members feel?
Here are a few helpful reminders as you navigate the relationships that are important to you, and how to improve connections, gain a deeper appreciation of a loved one, and to cultivate closeness and a positive and loving relationship:
1. Practice building and nurturing your relationships throughout the year so that it will be more enjoyable when you gather for festive occasions. Far in advance of the holidays and as a practice for how you live life fully, plan to keep in touch with loved ones, to make an effort to see people that are important family members, and to address disagreements or conflict so that you can resolve what hurts you (and others) are feeling.
This is an important practice that often gets lost in the busyness of our life and yet, we gain so much from making a conscious decision to invest more in our family relationships.
I've seen firsthand how the ongoing effort to reconnect and build closer relationships leads to much healing of past situations, and an opportunity to feel closeness and comfort in being together, so that you can all enjoy this improved relationship at the holidays, and ongoing.
At the very least, prior to gathering with family and other loved ones, if there is an unresolved hurt that may take some time and effort to resolve, a phone call or loving note to your loved one, explaining your desire to overcome past hurts; will go a long way to feeling the love and making a otherwise uncomfortable situation, far more comfortable.
2. If you are not interesting in the work of building a better relationship with a family member; perhaps because you have tried and this has been one-sided; and you recognize the limitations that exist, do your best to remain neutral; to be in the moment as you are together, rather than to focus on what hurts or bad behaviours have happened in the past. You may give yourself permission to not have a relationship with every person of your extended family.
If your time with this person is limited to gatherings once a year (if that); and if you have made peace with the fact that the person is how they are; that you are not responsible for changing them; then it is important for you to offer peace in your time with them; and not to use this setting to rehash the past or aim to change them.
Practice gratitude for your ability to put in place healthy boundaries and choose instead to offer kindness and peace here in this moment.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Mar 23, 2021
Tuesday Mar 23, 2021
'ask dorothy'
Where Do I Begin? | A Real Life Client Story
The WISDOM podcast Season 2 Episode 57
Your answers are waiting for you.
💜
This is a natural response to the idea of beginning therapy for those who have never had the experience.
It’s a response that I myself, and the other clinical interns that I trained with all shared as we looked at each other with a blank expression and a little apprehension because after all, what if you had never spoken to someone about something very personal and private; and something that would reveal parts of your life and your upbringing and some of your behaviours were less than ideal.
Unsure of what it will mean; or perhaps not fully read to open Pandora’s box; to look at your life from a perspective of:
‘What was the impact of that experience on me?’
‘How can I reconcile that situation so that I’m not reliving it each time I think about it?’
‘How did those life events, and the way that I was raised shape my thinking, my beliefs, and my confidence?’
‘Is there a way to change what I do so that I’m not feeling stressed, angry, or sad anymore?’
‘How can I improve parts of my life so that I can feel and live happy?’ and
‘Could I possibly fix or heal that hurt or wound of the past?’
There is an answer for each of these questions, waiting for you.
Join me for the answers to where and when you would benefit most from beginning therapy, and the real life story of my client Garrett and his wife Dina and how the timing of therapy could have made all of the difference.
*The names of my clients have been changed to protect their privacy. Their stories are real.
Find me here:
Book Your Free Discovery Session
Book Your First Full Session Here
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me: dorothy@dorothyratusny.com
Find all Episodes of The WISDOM podcast here
Love in your inbox? Subscribe to my weekly WISDOM Notes here
Visit me on social media💜 : Twitter Instagram
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau radioplato
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternellwww.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell: Album - Autumn Sky 'Elevation' & Album - Weightless 'High Clouds'
Sunday Feb 02, 2020
Sunday Feb 02, 2020
The Five Best '5-Minute' Mindfulness and Meditation Life Hacks
The WISDOM podcast Season 1 Episode 15
with Dorothy Ratusny
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:10 | The Science of Meditation and Mindfulness: 2:11 | Meditation is... 4:52 | Meditation is... not: 5:22 | One Benefit of Meditation: 6:21 | The Satipatthana Sutta... 9:22 | The 1st Best Life Hack for Your 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation Practice: 11:56 | The Science and Rationale for Life Hack #1: 13:35 | My Client Laura's 5-Minute 'door closed' Mindfulness Break: 14:32 | Your 5-Minute sessions of Mindfulness and Meditation will Bring You Calm: 15:31 | The 2nd Best Life Hack for Your 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation Practice: 17:13 | The Science and Rationale for Life Hack #2: 17:55 | The 3rd Best Life Hack for Your 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation Practice: 18:56 | The Science and Rationale for Life Hack #3: 20:44 | The 4th Best Life Hack for Your 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation Practice: 21:30 | The Science and Rationale for Life Hack #4: 23:25 | The 5th Best Life Hack for Your 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation Practice: 24:28 | The Science and Rationale for Life Hack #5: 25:02 | Meditation and Mindfulness Resources (my gifts to you): 26:27 | Next Week's Episode Sneak Preview! 27:58 | Podcast Outro: 29:35
The science of Meditation and Mindfulness reveal how effective a short 5-minute practice can be for controlling anxiety and reducing one’s perception of what is stressful, for feeling relief and comfort, for reclaiming presence, for focusing the mind and lengthening attention span, for positive emotional health and enhanced self-awareness; and for gaining a different or more accurate perspective. Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons why people practice meditation and mindfulness.
TRUTH SERUM: Mindfulness allows you to appreciate life for its singular moments and for the act of being in the present. Meditation is the act of focusing your attention - your awareness - onto a single object (or a process such as your breathing) in this moment as both an experience and a process of being mindful. These two practices are interchangeable; and they become a new way of experiencing life as you live it - in each moment.
A-HA MOMENTS: Every moment is precious. What is most important is what you choose because this is reflected in how you feel and what you do. The real purpose of mindfulness and meditation is to have a practice and a way of life - in which you experience the present moment - fully.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: Meditation may be formal or informal. Informal meditation is mindfulness. There are different practices of formal meditation based on different philosophies and customary rituals; the common element of which is sitting or lying in a comfortable posture while attending to one's awareness; and to focus the mind typically onto a single point or object; returning the mind to this point each time that it may wander. Meditation becomes a practice of observing the present moment and training the mind to focus where you choose to place attention.
Especially if you are new to these practices or if you are wishing to develop a habit of mindfulness and meditation as a regular part of your life; these 5-minute life hacks will enrich your present moment experiences, offer insight, enhanced awareness - and build the habit of holding presence - in each moment that you choose this.
Every moment is precious. What is most important is what you choose because this is reflected in how you feel and what you do. The real purpose of mindfulness and meditation is to have a practice and a way of life - in which you experience the present moment - fully. Remember that each conscious breath that you attend to fully - is a mindful moment. Mindfulness allows for a greater appreciation of 'what is'; of awareness and attention to life's abundance and simple pleasures; to being discerning of aspects of yourself such as your breath, your mood state, and the thoughts that you hold; your posture and other self care practices that nourish the self.
Further, when you experience several mindful moments linked together; for example, your attention focused on an object of your choosing (a candle flame, a cloud formation in the sky, gently moving) or an experience of conscious breathing – these become a source of brief meditation – “The conscious deliberate act of holding attention onto a particular point of focus.” When you notice when your mind wanders from where you have placed your focus and as you are able to return your attention at will, this 5-minute mindfulness practice becomes an example of formal, artful meditation.
Meditation is not the absolute holding of attention without disruption but rather the practice of focused attention and awareness by choice. You choose a point of deliberate focus in which to hold attention onto, but you also recognize that your mind will move from this focus. This is the habit of the mind; to attend to new thoughts and to be distracted onto thinking of the past and future. Your awareness of this becomes your cue for resuming your focus; for placing your attention onto something new. The idea of meditation is that you direct your mind deliberately where you wish to hold attention and to simply observe what you notice in doing so.
One benefit of meditation is to develop the practice of focusing your mind; to improve your ability to hold attention where you have chosen and for as long as you choose. Meditation reminds you that you choose what you think about and how you direct your mind to think. This is also from where we explore the idea of being rather than doing.
Mindfulness allows you to appreciate life for its singular moments and for the act of being in the present. Meditation is the act of focusing your attention - your awareness - onto a single object (or a process such as your breathing) in this moment as both an experience and a process of being mindful. These two practices are interchangeable; and they become a new way of experiencing life as you live it - in each moment.
Two questions that you may wish to ask yourself to assist in your experience of both mindfulness and meditation: Am I being mindful? and What can I choose to meditate upon? When you ask these questions of yourself daily, it will make the difference between living far more of your life, aware and awake.
Just before we dive in to this list, I'd like to reiterate what mindfulness and meditation is. Mindfulness is: present moment awareness. It is bringing an attitude of curiosity and observation to what you notice. Mindfulness is what allows you to experience the present moment, and to live each moment fully in the experience of it; as it is - and not preoccupied or distracted by the thoughts in your mind. This allows you to enjoy life even more. The benefit to living more of your life with mindfulness and present moment awareness is a richer experience; presence in observing what 'is' - being an active participant in your life, and being privy and aware of more because you are fully attentive.
-
In the Satipatthana Sutta which is one of the most celebrated and widely studied discourses in the Pāli Canon of Theravada Buddhism, acting as the foundation for contemporary vipassana meditational practice, the Buddha's use of the word sati means 'attention' in exactly the way that a modern cognitive therapist would describe the word. Sati is the conscious perception and evaluation of something; such as discriminating right from wrong. In the Sutta, sati is linked to the word atapi which means 'strong intention'; and which implies purpose and goal-directed behaviour. So when we think about modern day mindfulness, and if we want to consider its true roots and meaning; mindfulness is the ability to hold attention purposefully, to help us make right decisions and to be attentive and aware in our lives.
Meditation may be formal or informal. Informal meditation is mindfulness. There are different practices of formal meditation based on different philosophies and customary rituals; the common element of which is sitting or lying in a comfortable posture while attending to one's awareness; and to focus the mind typically onto a single point or object; returning the mind to this point each time that it may wander. Meditation becomes a practice of observing the present moment and training the mind to focus where you choose to place attention.
As we go through this list, perhaps it will inspire for you the simplicity of these practices and for how each offers much in revealing how life can be a series of moments; many of which are sacred and special because of your awareness of them.
Let’s look at the list:
Here Are The Five Best Life Hacks for Having a 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation Practice.
1. The 1st Best life hack is to create space in your day for 5 minutes of Mindfulness and Meditation and commit yourself to this.
When does it feel most helpful to take some deep conscious breaths or to close your eyes for 5 minutes and practice formal meditation? When would you most benefit from a mindful presence - of being deliberately attentive to what you notice and are aware of. When would be the best time for meditation - in which you sit or lie comfortably for 5 minutes or longer holding awareness and attention onto a point of focus; or being guided through a meditation practice?
At first you may wish to set reminders in your phone that guide and direct you to this. When your alarm indicates it is time for a 5-minute practice perhaps this will be something that you look forward to as a healthy reprieve and a means of bringing your focus into the present.
Here is the science and the strategy for this life hack: Making mindfulness and meditation a habit happens when you deliberately build it into your daily routine. It's most helpful if you can schedule: (1) the optimal time(s) of day for these practices and (2) Your 5 minutes of mindfulness and meditation act as helpful impromptu strategies often when you need it most - to decompress, to feel calm and centred in your body in the present, or to relieve an unpleasant feeling or mood state; and to improve cognitive focus. Just remember that all you need is 5 minutes and without expectations. Rather, allow yourself to take in the full experience and whatever it offers you.
One of my clients - a busy family lawyer - closes her office door at the same time each day. At first, Laura hung a sign on her door to let her associates and support staff know that she was meditating. After a time, her colleagues came to expect that her door would be closed at 3 pm each day. Laura began to receive positive feedback, as others noticed that she was calmer and seemed happier after her daily meditation session each afternoon. Laura noticed that her focus was better when she resumed her work after brief sessions of mindfulness meditation (Current research also supports this). And it wasn’t long before her 5-minute practice became a 15-minute ritual that was her self-ascribed daily dose of calm and perspective that she has found most enjoyable.
Your 5-minute (and sometimes longer) sessions of mindfulness and meditation will bring you calm and relief. It will help re-frame you perspective - especially if you live a busy and often 'stress-filled' life. If you want to experience the greatest benefits of mindfulness and meditation, commit to a 5-minute regular practice that you carve out time for each day. Set a daily reminder in your phone so that you can pause whatever you are doing for this practice. Like Laura, who managed on most days to commit to her 3 pm alarm when it sounded - it became something she looked forward to and it did wonders for her mental and emotional well-being.
Scheduling a 5-minute practice at different times throughout your day offers you a simple reprieve; a chance to focus inward; and to take in your surroundings with greater awareness. There is nothing that you need to do further. Mindfulness and meditation are not tasks that you can accomplish, but rather they are ways of being; of having awareness and presence of living fully of this moment.
Your 5-minute meditation and mindfulness practice becomes a regular part of each day (and your life) when you make the commitment to yourself for this.
2. The 2nd Best 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation life hack is this: When you feel anxious, stop and breathe. See if you can pull yourself out of whatever you are doing for 5 minutes and be attentive to your breath, to soothing yourself with your breathing. This becomes a habit more easily as you remind yourself that a 5-minute mindfulness or informal meditation practice is a way to reset; to gain perspective; and to have a reprieve from what thoughts were the source of your stress.
The science and rationale behind this strategy is this: In your 5-minute practice of mindfulness or meditation, the idea is to be aware and attentive in this moment. The purpose of meditation and mindfulness is not to halt your thoughts or keep your mind strictly focused. Rather, it's about holding presence to your experience. Holding attention unto your breath is quite likely the simplest way to bring your attention fully into the present moment; as you breathe holding your focus onto your breath and observe what sensations you witness as you experience yourself breathing. It will serve you well to have more than one 5-minute mindfulness break each day; and to stop for a moment and be mindful whenever you feel overwhelmed or any other challenging emotion.
3. A 3rd Best life hack for developing a regular 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation practice is to choose an activity that you do regularly; such as eating, exercise, walking, taking public transportation or as you commute to work - and practice mindfulness of this specific activity for 5 minutes each day for a week. In fact, if you wanted to ensure that your mindfulness practice becomes a life long habit, you can continue in the practice of mindfulness of a particular activity and to observe what is noticed for a minimum of 2 months (actually 66 days to be exact) because that is what the research has suggested that this is the amount of time that is needed to develop a longstanding habit. Practising mindfulness of the everyday experiences and activities of life will help you to apply this practice as a way of being.
You may choose a different activity each day to be mindful of, in order to contemplate what it means to have greater awareness. Notice how your mindfulness practice of this activity makes it richer, more intensely beautiful, and how you may feel as you are fully engaged in what you are doing, thinking, and experiencing. For example, if you bring awareness - mindfulness - to your workout at the gym, are you more deliberate and focused in what you are doing? Do you notice your muscles working and how this feels? Are you less distracted in those 5 minutes of mindfulness?
The science and rationale of this strategy: Your present moment awareness of an activity allows you to notice and learn more; it means that you are more attentive to yourself and your surroundings which allows for heightened feedback about this experience. Notice how your mindfulness practice of an activity allows for a more enjoyable experience of it; and with purposeful results. You may find yourself choosing to be mindful in more ways throughout your day. Notice as you do so what happens.
4. A 4th Best life hack for your 5-Minute Mindfulness and Meditation practice is to train yourself to live mindfully by asking questions that will raise your consciousness. Ask yourself the questions: "What do I need in this moment?" and "What would allow me to feel happiness now?" and then just pause, sitting in the space of silence as your answers come from within you, rising up to the surface to meet your question. Your answers lend to a mindfulness practice that directs your attention inward; to assess your needs and allow you to make informed choices in the moment so that you may best provide yourself with what you need. You may feel depleted in your inner resources if you are always giving to others; but also if you focus on productivity and achievement at the expense of replenishing your self. Practice asking questions to become mindful and to formally meditate upon, as a way of introducing calm and relaxation, self-care and greater well-being. Discover what simple and often nourishing solutions you can give yourself because of your mindful awareness and in being reflective upon what is needed. I’ll leave a link here to a pdf that you can download for a set of questions that you can post where you can remind yourself of how specific questions can stir your awareness and open you to being awake and aware and in the present moment.
The science and rationale behind this strategy: When you ask yourself: "What do I need in this moment?" or "What would allow me to feel happiness now?" These questions unto themselves become the focus for your formal 5-minute meditation. This will allow answers to surface that come from a deeper source within you and which reveal what is right and best for you in this moment. The asking of your highest self can become a practice that you engage in often - particularly when you wish to solve a problem, for changing how you feel, for feeling comfort and support, and nourishing your being.
5. Finally, a 5th Best way to Enjoy Your 5-Minute daily practice of Mindfulness and Meditation is to listen to a mindfulness led practice or guided formal meditation. Whether you are new to mindfulness and meditation or an experienced guru, listening to others guide you in your practice will be helpful to engage your attention; as you focus on their words and instructions and as it is a helpful way to learn new ideas for your practice.
The science and rationale behind this strategy: Allowing yourself to be guided through a 5-minute (or longer) meditation or mindfulness practice keeps things new and creative; it also gives you more experience; and you will always be learning more.
Many of the meditation apps offer free trial memberships, and unlocked free content. Purchasing a subscription is a great way to take advantage of all of the content that they offer. Having guidance in your practice helps you to feel encouraged in what you are learning and it is helpful to be exposed to different kinds of meditations and mindfulness practices which grow your confidence and ability. Some of the most popular meditation and mindfulness apps are: Insight Timer, Aura, Calm, and Headspace; and of course there is an unlimited library of meditation and mindfulness practices free on YouTube. You may also find free mindfulness and meditation content on my website by visiting the Wisdom Archives.
Your ‘gifted’ and most special.... Meditation and Mindfulness Resources:
Why Taking A Deep Breath Feels Good: The Self-Healing Benefits of Deep Breathing
In the Present Moment ...is Your Most Beautiful Life
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Isla Nocturna' 'Shrine (30min)' and 'Exaltation' from the Album - "Illuvia"
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!
Sunday Dec 15, 2019
Sunday Dec 15, 2019
The 7 Pillars of Forgiveness & The Art of Forgiveness
The WISDOM podcast | Season 1 Episode 12
with Dorothy Zennuriye Juno
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:09 | How Forgiveness is Possible: 2:13 | Two Questions to Contemplate: 4:26 | The First Sacred Step to Forgiving: 5:49 | How you Know Forgiveness Has Been Completed: 11:06 | How to Use A Mantra to Be Free from the Past 13:32 | Why We Need to Forgive: 14:12 | The First Pillar: Let Go of Your Expectations Of What Others "Should be": 15:52 | The Second Pillar: Practice Compassion: 18:36 | The Third Pillar: Uphold Loving Kindness: 21:01 | The Fourth Pillar: Be Responsible for Your Happiness: 22:15 | The Fifth Pillar of Forgiveness: Practice Holding Gratitude: 24:19 | The Sixth Pillar of Forgiveness: Remind Yourself of What Is True: 26:53 | The Seventh Pillar of Forgiveness: Speak Your Truth: 29:20 | One of the Most Helpful Life Rules for Forgiveness 32:11 | The Episode 'Afterward': 33:10 | Your Free Downloadable Offering for This Episode: 38:51 | Podcast Outro: 40:32
Forgiveness is possible as you love yourself and others, unconditionally. When you choose to forgive another or yourself, it is because you wish to let go of suffering; to free yourself to live in the present; and to dream of the future because you have completed the work of 'for' 'giving', for releasing your attachment to the past. The past was never in your control. If you are forgiving another, it is so that you can have a relationship with them in the present if you so choose. In this episode, we discuss what it means to forgive; how you know that you have forgiven completely; and how you can do this so that you are no longer carrying the weight of the past with you.
TRUTH SERUM: A new way of thinking about forgiveness that transcends all world religions and is the most direct path to inner peace: Forgiveness comes from Love. To forgive, first decide to accept; to make peace with whatever has happened by acknowledging that the past is unchangeable. Then you can begin to hold compassion and love towards the person (and yourself) in the present. Your love directed towards another or unto yourself is the most powerful tool for forgiveness.
A-HA MOMENTS: Forgiveness is: (Hint: break it into two words) 'for' 'giving' yourself the freedom to let go of the past and whatever has happened including what you or others have done that is not a true portrayal of who you are. Forgiveness is 'for' 'giving' acceptance to what has already happened; and what you have no power to change, only the power to live from the present moment.
PRACTICAL WISDOM: You will know when forgiveness has been completed because you will be able to think about the other person, yourself, or the situation and no longer feel the hurt, anger, (or self-loathing) that was once present. You will instead feel an ease and lightness in your heart centre, and you will be able to identify the feeling of unconditional love and acceptance that comes about from making peace with what 'is'. "It is your actions and mindset of the present, that allow you to make peace with your past."
What do you need to forgive? (What actions, words, or thoughts?)
Who do you need to forgive? (Including yourself.)
If you want to forgive, its likely because you want to free yourself from a situation in which you are harboring feelings of hurt, anger, or another form of suffering.
Forgiveness is (Hint: break it into two words) 'for' 'giving' yourself the freedom to let go of the past and whatever has happened including what you or others have done that is not a true portrayal of who you are.
Forgiveness is 'for' 'giving' acceptance to what has already happened; and what you have no power to change, only the power to live from the present moment.
Are you ready to experience the release of your hurt and suffering?
Have you been telling yourself that you have forgiven another (or yourself) because you very much want to, but in thinking about past situations, do you still feel all of these same hurts, sadness, or anger.
Do you know that you can forgive completely?
So let's begin with a new way of thinking about forgiveness that transcends all world religions and is the most direct path to inner peace.
Forgiveness Comes From Love
"Love for another, or yourself needs to come first; in place of what hurt, anger, blame, and suffering you have been holding onto. When you choose to forgive, it requires your willingness to make peace with what has happened. If you hold onto hurts and situations in which you have been wronged, it will seem impossible to forgive a person or their actions, or both. To forgive, first decide to accept; to make peace with whatever has happened by acknowledging that the past is unchangeable. Then you can begin to hold compassion and love towards the person (and yourself) in the present. Your love directed towards another or unto yourself is the most powerful tool for forgiveness." ~ Dorothy Zennuriye Juno
Forgiveness is 'giving up' the suffering that exists when you hold onto past situations and experiences and whatever is not in the present moment.
Choose forgiveness above anything else.
Let your desire for feeling peace, and for accepting what already is, be what gives you objective and the ability to be 'here and now'; your life is no longer lived in the re-experiencing of past hurts and wounds.
Forgiveness allows for the release of what causes you to suffer. This includes any of the self-inflicted hurt that you have been carrying, because of your decision (whether consciously or unconsciously) to continue re-living the unpleasant thoughts and feelings of that situation as you maintain blame directed towards another (or yourself).
It is unlikely that the other person is even aware of the extent of damage or hurt that they have caused. It is not up to another person to make you feel better.
Even with an heartfelt apology, you can still harbour negativity and hurt feelings. So it becomes a decision; your decision to release the past through acceptance and the willingness to live life in the present and to do what is going to be most helpful for you to feel happiness and whole.
Consider if you have been unable to forgive what has happened; such as a car accident, or an injury or illness, and you continue to point blame or fault for the situation.
This will inhibit your ability to physically, emotionally, and mentally heal; to recover fully; and to feel at peace.
Remember that your power lies in your ability to live of the present moment; to act and react based on your present moment experiences including what you will remind yourself of that is not within your control, nor ability to change.
Click to Tweet
"It is your actions and mindset of the present, that allow you to make peace with your past."
Forgiveness may take months, or even years to complete; based on the depth of your hurt and how long you have carried this suffering, giving it your (unwanted) attention and energy.
Think of it as similar to layers that you shed, each layer is what you have constructed to armor you; to protect you from feeling hurt or angry even though these layers have not been needed.
Instead, you have simply needed to refrain from holding onto and reliving what is past.
You will know when forgiveness has been completed because you will be able to think about the other person, yourself, or the situation and no longer feel the hurt, anger, (or self-loathing) that was once present.
You will instead feel an ease and lightness in your heart center, and you will be able to identify the feeling of unconditional love and acceptance that comes about from making peace with what 'is'.
Complete forgiveness is.... the release of your suffering and blame, in place of holding peace; and for 'for' 'giving' thanks for your ability to do so.
Check out this video on Complete Forgiveness:
Here's why you need to forgive:
When you feel consumed by hurt, sadness, anger, or any other difficult emotion whenever you think about a situation, an exchange of words, the absence (or presence) of an action, or any other condition that did not meet your expectations, you suffer. Each time you think about the situation or the other person, you relive the same feelings - usually as intense as they were originally. Your belief that you have been wronged and that you are justified for feeling the way you do keeps you in a cycle of suffering.
You choose forgiveness because you no longer wish to relive the past.
You recognize that it is far better for you to feel at peace with a situation, yourself, or another, rather than continue to harbour damaging and unresolved feelings, because these feelings left unhealed continue to cause discomfort.
The 7 Pillars of Forgiveness describe the steps that lead you from what you feel now, into peace, acceptance and a new reality of truth that is comforting.
Each pillar is also a best practice that makes it easier for you to walk through life without forming hurts and for holding grudges.
One of the most helpful 'life rules' that you could ever live by is to accept others as they are; and without needing them to uphold your standards.
You may be attentive, and to assess what you observe in others, and yet it is helpful to do so without criticism or judgment.
You can always offer your help and guidance to another in a desire to help them improve their situation, together with healthy boundaries that reflect your understanding that it is always up to another how they will choose to be.
This is one of the most effective life practices for having healthy, loving relationships.
Afterward:
Whenever you observe others with kindness and curiosity, you learn more about who they are.
This is an effective life practice that allows us to be observers and to learn rather than critique and judge others based on their differences.
Continue to remind yourself of what you are being shown and what you are learning through your desire for forgiveness and for alleviating suffering.
If you can look at what "has happened to you" as an opportunity for learning something new about yourself and another, you are more likely to find relief in trusting the wisdom of life to reveal precisely what you need to understand and know in order to further your personal growth.
Much of the inner work of forgiveness is inspired by a deeper (and instinctual desire) that we all have for feeling inner peace, for improving connection and closeness in our relationships, for no longer relying on others for feeling happy and having self-worth, and for ultimately becoming more.
This is also known as individuation; the ability to be independent in relying on and providing for your needs, and to feel integral happiness and love for yourself.
Click to tweet!
"To forgive allows you to heal yourself of the past; to let go of whatever hurt, anger, and sadness you may have been holding onto, that has been causing you to suffer." ~ Dorothy Zennuriye Juno
Most of all forgiveness allows you to experience the process of deliberate co-creation.
When you seek out healing from a past situation with forgiveness, you are allowing the natural rhythm of life and the need for maintaining presence in this moment.
When you allow for what 'is' in the present moment, you can experience others and yourself as you are, rather than continuing to relive situations of the past.
This allows you to make decisions based on what is important now; and for what you are in full control of.
When you judge others or yourself based on a situation of the past, you are not truly in control of 'now'.
Let go of the impulse to judge based on a situation or a time of the past, in which you have no control, and which is not an accurate portrayal of who the person (or your self) is in that moment.
Remind yourself of the need to live of the present moment; to view and make decisions based on what is important now.
This will also help you to release grudges or hurts; to accept what you have no control over and cannot change.
I believe this is a forward thinking concept which changes the way in which we think about our experiences and one that I hope you will find of much help.
Here is where mindfulness and conscious awareness become your helpful allies.
When you allow yourself to exist in the present moment; as you witness situations, others, and yourself without needing to place any labels or judgment on what you experience, you are more easily able to approach all situations in life from a neutral position.
When you hold grudges, resentment, and hurt, you are holding others responsible and as the cause for how you feel.
I hope that this episode offers much practical and spiritual wisdom for living the 7 pillars, for practicing complete forgiveness so that you may feel at peace in your life.
Please remember that forgiveness of many past hurts, and trauma occurs in stages, and as you seek to release in acceptance of all of what is in the past.
What follows are a few resources to offer additional wisdom and to open you to allow complete forgiveness into your heart.
And remember, forgiveness is 'for' 'giving' to yourself ~ for releasing your suffering first and foremost.
Episode Resources:
How To Curate Innate Happiness
Forgiveness... Begins with Your Heart Wide Open
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you...
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: 'Aura' from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, 'Home' from the Album - "Self"
A generous 'thank you' to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help!